Episode #23: Badassery with Dr. Adrienne Barchard

Hey, this is Dr Priyanka Venugopal and you're listening to Weight Loss For Unstoppable Moms episode 23, Badassery with Dr. Adrienne Barchard.

I have such a special episode for you today, I am talking with my Unstoppable client Dr. Adrienne Barchard today on the podcast. She's going to be sharing her thoughts, her experiences her stories, and really her journey from the time before she ever joined Unstoppable to what she created over the past six months. We're going to talk about how her experience being in The Unstoppable Group literally touched every corner and crevice of her life.

Before we get to the interview, I want to let you know that The Unstoppable Group is currently open for enrollment for just a few more days. This is an opportunity to really level up and lighten your life. If everything that we have been talking about on this podcast, or even today's story and interview with Adrienne speaks to you, I strongly encourage you to book a consult with me.

You can head on over to theunstoppablemombrain.com/group and there will be a button there for you to book your call. On this consult call you and I are going to talk about you, where you are in your journey, what the number on the scale is and why. And then we get to talk about how being in this group is going to help create permanent results for you on the scale.

Okay, so let's get to my conversation with the lovely Adrienne who, just like you, is a ninja working mom who knew she was really ready to do this work. She knew that she wanted coaching in her life, and she knew that this was the room for her. Let's get to it.

If you want to reach your ideal weight and create lightness for your body, you need to have simplicity, joy, and strategic decisions infused into your life. I'm a physician turned life and weight loss coach for ambitious working moms. I've lost over 60 pounds without counting points, calories or crazy exercise plans. Most importantly, I feel calm and light on the scale and in my life. There's some delicious magic when you learn this work and the skills I'm going to be teaching you. Ready? Let’s get to it.

Priyanka: Hello, hello, this is Dr. Adrienne Barchard. I'm going to have you introduce yourself in just a moment, but you are one of our like badass unstoppable clients that have been in The Unstoppable Group. And I cannot wait for today's conversation, really to talk about what your experience was like.

But also one of the reasons that you are literally my first client that I'm interviewing for this podcast is because I felt like, I was sharing with you this before we even got on the call, that you introduced the word badassery to this group. And I just love that and love you. So tell us all about you, Adrienne. And tell us like everything.

Adrienne: I'm so excited that the word badass became a frequent part of our jargon.

Priyanka: It did, yeah.

Adrienne: I'm so excited. Anyway, so yes, I'm Adrienne, I am a veterinarian. I specialize in emergency critical care veterinary medicine. And I'm a mom of two, I have a son who is 12 named Ian and a daughter who is nine named Joanna and an amazing hardworking fellow veterinarian husband named Brent. And we've been married for 15 years. So yeah, I guess that's the short version, I suppose.

Priyanka: Yeah. Yeah. You know, I remember I was thinking back about our conversation today and the very first time you and I talked, which is probably exactly six months, we talked on a consult call. And I still remember you came on the call and you were just like really excited.

And you had heard me on a podcast and you came on the call saying, “I almost drove off the road. And I heard that you work with working moms and I want to do this work.” You came in just so excited. What was it like for you that moment? And why do you think you got so excited about it? Like tell us how it all started for you.

Adrienne: Yeah, so I mean I had worked with a coach before and I always just kind of felt like, man, there has to be a group of women who feel like I feel. Like we all could share what we are all experiencing, but also help ourselves to do better and get to where we want to be. And I can't be the only one who is just like craving this, but needs a little like, I guess, guidance from coaching to help crystallize our thoughts into the best ones for us. So when I heard you on a podcast that fateful day.

Priyanka: I think you called it a fateful day. Yes.

Adrienne: Yes, I was like, “There it is, oh my gosh.” Yeah, I was like going to drive off the road because I can't remember if I was trying to look at my phone to see your name or whatever to figure out how to find you. But yeah, I eventually tracked you down, found your website, and then that's how I found everything after that, I found you after that.

Priyanka: Yeah. And I thought it was interesting because I even remember you were talking about your previous experience with coaching, which I remember you saying that it was helpful, but you wanted some more clarity. I think that that was the word you had even used even on our consult call. You wanted just a little bit more clarity around how it works, like how to really bring in the mindset piece to losing weight. And what do you think it was that made you think that Unstoppable would help you do that?

Adrienne: I think a big piece of it for me was that I had done coaching in a one on one format. And the group coaching was something that I was really interested in and that you were offering. So I knew that that was for me. And I also noticed pretty quickly that your personal touch and your way of doing this coaching is a little bit softer, I guess I would say.

And at first, I will be honest that I was a little bit like, I mean, I just kind of felt like I don't know if I'm being pushed. Like it needs to feel hard, you know? But then after I realized that I wouldn't treat anybody else that way necessarily and that maybe I could kind of adopt some of those thoughts softer, you know, more like it's okay, you know, kind of. And that if I took on some of that it actually was really, really helpful.

And for whatever reason, I was a little resistant to it early on because I'm just used to doing it like, oh, you know, you get through this, and you do this, and you’re rushing through that, and you're all the things.  But incorporating a little bit of that lightness, as you say frequently, was actually super helpful.

Priyanka: Yeah, and I think what you're talking about is so commonly threaded through the working moms brain, that like really scold-y, strict, hustling vibe. And I will say even for me, it's taken me a very long time to uncover that voice. Because my voice in my own mind will sound on paper like, oh, that sounds so harsh. I think that some of us have inner critics that are very overtly harsh, like go, go, go, you better get it done, work harder.

I mean, listen, to get through school and to graduate and then take care of patients and clients and do what we are doing, which is like taking care of other lives, right? It's like one of those things where in some sense I think we believe it's served us well. That pushing us hard has served us well, or so we believe. And it can be kind of jarring to be like, wait, am I going to be pushed here?

So I'm just wondering for you, do you think that that piece of it, that part that wasn't jarring, that didn't feel harsh, how might that have opened something up for you that maybe you hadn't had before Unstoppable?

Adrienne: It was just a sense of like I'm okay, you know? I can't remember exactly what scenario that you were coaching me in our group coaching session. I remember maybe I was nervous about something that we were talking about, like I was discussing a scenario with you.

I just remember you saying like, “You know what? Of course you're nervous about it. Of course you are.” I just remember you just saying like repeatedly, “Of course you are, you care about it. You care about this thing we're talking about, it's natural to feel that way.” And I was like, “Oh yeah, that's so true.”

Like I was just acknowledging that it was okay and that acknowledgment and bringing my very normal response to whatever I was going through, I just felt so normal and so accepted. And I have really used that so much since then. You know, every time I get nervous or whatever, I'm just like, of course you're nervous about it, you're passionately interested in this thing, whatever it is. Whatever meeting or anything, I just reassure myself that of course there's butterflies, you're passionate about this thing.

Priyanka: Yeah. I think, and this might speak to kind of what you're saying, I think that sometimes what we do, and I've done this, I think that the women in the group have done this, is we feel that nervousness or maybe even like we have some kind of an uncomfortable emotional response. It could even be anger, or frustration, or overwhelm.

And I think that what we do is when we have that emotional response, we've just been programmed to try to fix it, or solve it, or get away from it, enter overeating, right? Of course we eat then because we think we have to fix something. And what you and I have been talking about over the last six months is like maybe those emotions just are coming to signal to us like we just really care, like we're frustrated about this.

I think we talked especially for work, like really standing up for what's right in the workplace or for yourself. We're frustrated because we care. And what if we could use that as fuel rather than like a weight on our shoulders that's holding us back, creating heaviness, burdening us? What if it was fuel to really know that we care about this?

Adrienne: So true, instead of trying to fight against that emotion or feeling.

Priyanka: Yes.

Adrienne: Yeah, instead of fighting against it, just acknowledging it and telling yourself that it's normal, and you're normal. And then just keep on with the badassery after that.

Priyanka: That's right. Right. And I'm curious for you, because I think that this is one of the pieces of the work that feels really ambiguous before anyone's ever been introduced to coaching. Like when they're brand new and like wait, you are using coaching for weight loss, how does that work? Don't just have to count points and calories and measure food?

And what we're talking about right now is how this mindset and emotional piece of it is such an integral part of the process. Can you speak to how that part, for you, was so important compared to what you've done before, which is all the things that we've all done?

Adrienne: All the things we all do. I came into this with the goal of weight loss, but probably like many people who have gone through coaching, it's not only the weight loss. And yeah, maybe I'm going to get a little off the point of your question, but I think really integrating all the methods about coaching into your existence, into who you are at your place of employment, who you are as a parent and a spouse, as a friend, you know, it really helps get you to the point where you can be ready to lose weight because you're just in a different mind.

You don't have to stuff down your emotions anymore, or you you can but you don't have to. So you can be like your authentic self and just like speak to other people in a way that feels authentic. And then you can hear what they're saying and weed out where you may have taken these things personally in the past, and now it just becomes like a conversation.

And yeah, so I think the weight loss is almost just like a natural result of being more authentic, more in touch with who you are. This is going to sound so silly, but it takes no effort, really. Once you are doing the mind work, I mean, the weight loss is just like an automatic result. It's just a no brainer.

Priyanka: Yes, I love that you said that because I think that so many women, and especially working moms. I always say working moms are a unique flavor of badassery because of how much we're doing and how much we care about our work that we're so passionate about, about our kids, and our families, and our patients, and our clients, and everyone. We care so much.

And I think that, you know, kind of speaking to your point, we kind of forget that our brain is the one thing that is touching every corner and crevice of our life that we care about. And it makes so much sense, right? When we just focus on that one part of ourselves, our brain, and leveling up our awareness, which is what you and I talked about a lot over the last six months. Like our awareness and really bringing in compassion and that gentleness into our monologue, how that starts to literally filter down into every part of our life. We're just not going to have the need to overeat as much.

Adrienne: Yeah, and you know, there's been times not that long ago where I had a really hard day and I was so tired and I chose to get through that experience, on that particular day I made it easy on myself by overeating. And I knew and instead of beating myself up afterwards, I made the conscious choice and I, I’m even like hesitating telling this story.

Priyanka: No, no, tell it. I want to hear it.

Adrienne: I know, but I made it as a conscious choice. I was like, today is so hard, but it is a onetime event. I'm going to get through this by I'm going to let myself have these things that I know I would not, you know, my brain needs this dopamine hit to get over this hump.

Priyanka: Yeah, like I need the Cool Ranch Doritos sometimes.

Adrienne: Yeah.

Priyanka: It's like one of those, and we've talked about this before, how food is a coping mechanism that has worked for some of us, many of us listening to this podcast. It has worked for decades and so now we know it is one coping mechanism that works, that we know it can work very quickly, right? Like at a chemical level we know it works very quickly, but at the same time it has this outcome. If we use this as a coping mechanism day in and day out again and again, we are going to have other outcomes that we may not love.

So what do you think is the difference for you? How do you decide, like that experience that you were just talking about, that you know what, I know I’m overeating. I can see that I'm doing it. I'm choosing it on purpose. What was different for you to do it this way than how you've done it before?

Adrienne: Because I was out of town and I was working locum work out of town, doing overnights that I don't normally do. I was so removed from my, like what I would consider more available options to cope and do my mind work. And my level of exhaustion was like a 10 out of 10. And I felt like, you know, when I'm rested and I'm myself, actually it was also kind of like an experiment. Like let's just see if this works and let's just let it be a thing.

And I think the best part was, was I didn't beat myself up afterwards. Because in the past, in diet mentality that's what you do. You get back on that horse on Monday after eating all the things all weekend. And I was like, no, I'm allowing this. This feels like the best coping mechanism I have in front of me and I'm not going to be upset about it. I just didn't have anything else at my disposal, it seems like. Which could be just a thought.

Priyanka: Yeah, and that's okay, right? If we wanted to use our brain to have managed, we could. And also we don't have to always. And I'm just wondering for you, like what do you think is the impact for you to be able to not beat yourself up?

You made a decision, it was very conscious, it was intentional, and then you didn't beat yourself up after that. What do you think is the impact of that for you moving forward when it comes to permanently reaching your ideal weight? Like permanently losing the weight, what do you think is the impact of not beating yourself up?

Adrienne: Just feeling at peace with myself. Like no more self-loathing. And I feel like if I don't feel self-loathing, then I can be such a better mom, a better spouse, honestly such a better person overall to everybody around me, I hope. But like how can you possibly share joy with the world when you are walking around hating every fiber of your being? It just, it doesn't work.

So it's just so important to correct, you know, correct the things internally where you're harming yourself with your own thoughts, before you can really do everything you possibly can in this world. And we have so much potential as women that is being inhibited by a preoccupation with self-loathing.

And sometimes I wonder what women could have accomplished if they were free of self-loathing thoughts and a preoccupation with weight and appearance and doing what we're supposed to be doing, you know, as good little girls. Like where could we be in society if we were free of all that bullshit?

Priyanka: I just got chills with you saying that because I think one of the intentions that I always think about with Unstoppable and like with the group and with working moms is how can we, like our light is already very bright. Who we are is already complete and whole and perfect, but it's like we've put on this like covering or a facade that we think we need to present to the world of being hardworking, and organized, and like on it.

I remember I used to have patients come in my practice, like they would come postpartum and they’d come for their postpartum visit and they would say, “Oh, I forgot to take care of this thing for my older kid.” You know, new baby, forgot the permission slip for my kid getting on the bus, like mom brain.

And they would refer to their mom brains as though it is a like handicap, as though it is something that is holding them back. And that was, I mean, the whole reason that I even named this group The Unstoppable Group and The Unstoppable Mom Brain is to just put that energy out into the universe that we all have a bright light and we've just been programmed.

We've learned to live in this role that diminishes us, that dulls our light. And what if we just like wiped it clean and let our inner bright light, which is already there, right? It's already there, it's already badass. What if we just created safety and capacity to let it out? Like how amazing could it be for us?

Adrienne: I remember when I first heard the title of your coaching group and podcast, that also contributed to me nearly wrecking my car. I was like, “Yes, that’s it, that’s what I need.”

Priyanka: Badass all the way, yes.

Adrienne: That's truly what I felt was inside of me, that I am unstoppable. Like I really wanted to feel like I could take on the world, not just have that as a thought. I wanted to live that, you know?

Priyanka: When you think about like the last six months and being in this group, in The Unstoppable Group with this intention of wanting to let that inner unstoppable self just out, how do you think that the group helped you do that, or helped you unleash what you know is already there? How do you think that the coaching and the group helped you do that?

Adrienne: I just have the sense that it just made the world feel a little bit smaller because people from, you know, my fellow moms like from, I think we're all even from the same East Coast area. But even still, it just made me feel like, you know, isn't that pretty neat that we all have literally the same thoughts and so much of the same struggles? You know, even as women that are pretty similar, but different in some obvious ways, like we don’t know each other. 

But I was just blown away constantly how we are literally all having the same thoughts that are, in many ways, holding us back. And talking about it in a group just brings so much, again, authenticity, like just legitimacy to the same struggles that we all have, that we're all just normal.

Priyanka: I think that that's actually where the badass title came from. You actually commented, this was probably in our first or second coaching call, you commented on how the women in this room, and it's a very intimate room. And it felt like even though we're all working moms, we're all like, there's some physicians, there's another veterinarian, there's professors, like there's a wide range of working moms in this room, that we are all badass in our life.

We're all like doing amazing things. And yet, we are also here with the same struggles. And how is it that we can all allow ourselves the gift of letting the badassery in these other parts of our life also infiltrate how we treat ourselves how, we reach our big goals for ourselves and for our bodies?

Adrienne: I think we just have to acknowledge that we are such similar creatures and draw strength from that. Because there's just so much that we can accomplish and do if we let that woman that we are inside of us.

Priyanka: Yeah. Just to pivot a little bit, but this speaks to what you're saying. You came from a one on one coaching experience and you decided to do a group and it really spoke to you. And I think that this is an interesting point because what sometimes I think a lot of women feel is like they have this very personal, like they don't want to share in a group or they feel shy.

I know that I'm especially someone that feels very shy at the very start. I call myself a social introvert. And I feel like once I get to know you, I feel so comfortable. But that initial feeling of shyness, and what will other people think about what I'm saying and feeling open. What would you say about the dynamics of being in an intimate container like this where we are all a badass? And I'm just like, what are your thoughts about like being in a group specifically if somebody said, I'm a little bit shy. What would you say to them?

Adrienne: It's still for you. I mean, I had some reservations, like anybody would. And I found it pretty easy to open up. And there were some people in our group that were maybe like more naturally extroverted people, which I tend to gravitate to people like that because they get me out of my shell a little bit. But it worked so well, it works so well.

And it was like a natural progression for me to want to do group coaching, I guess. And I just loved it. I just loved, you know, we don't get to connect with other moms that much, right? Like we're all working hard, we're shuttling kids around, we're doing the things. So to like sit down for an hour and just like talk to some other people who are, you know, we have fundamentally some similarities with, just really feels so comforting, you know?

Priyanka: Yeah, and whenever I think about that, like initially having reservations or initially feeling shy, I always, for me, think about what is it that would create so much safety for me to feel ease and comfort in sharing? Because that is what this group is, right? So you can speak to this more, but like everybody gets coached that wants to get coached. Anyone that has an obstacle that they're working through, we either address it on our live coaching calls or inside the written cafe, right? Everybody is getting exactly what they need.

What do you think it is that helps you go from that reservation to being like, you know what? I'm here, I'm going to get exactly what I came for? Which is kind of what you did.

Adrienne: I think for me I just felt ready and I knew that I was kind of really drawn to coaching. And I mean, and I had never heard of it until a couple of years ago. And I still am no expert, like I'm not a coach. But it had really like knocked my socks off in the little bit of experience that I had with my other coach.

So yeah, I guess I just craved like the mom part of it. I was like, there's got to be some fundamental piece of like, I need the mom aspect, the working mom aspect.

Priyanka: Yeah, I mean, that's why you almost drove off the road. I think like what I'm hearing from you is that you knew that coaching was really the piece that you wanted. And you were willing to go all in on that experience, even though it felt like you had the reservations, you felt shy, or you weren't sure. It was like you knew the necessary piece, especially when you heard about there being something for working moms.

Adrienne: Yeah, no, I knew I was ready. I was just looking for the right opportunity. And I heard you on that podcast one day, I was like, “That's it, it does exist!”

Priyanka: What do you think it is specifically, because there are so many opportunities, there are so many amazing, amazing coaching experiences that you could have chosen. You could have decided to invest your time and your money in any coaching experience. What do you think it was about Unstoppable, that you were like that is the one for me?

Adrienne: It was just the right interplay of like moms who were, I really wanted to work with professional working moms because that is how I saw myself. And I wanted to make sure that we were kind of all on the same page in a lot of ways with like how our careers were such a significant part of who we are.

And that's not to say, you know, obviously, there are other moms, but the career mom, I guess, was important to me so that I could really share, so you didn't have to like break the ice of like, I’m into my career, but I also like my family. To some people that's a foreign, you know, the concept of being a mom but maybe not necessarily working is not part of who they are. So I wanted to just go into it with like people who that was like all like a given, you know? Like career and family is like what we do.

Priyanka: And you can have space to love all of it, right?

Adrienne: Right, exactly. Exactly. So yeah, that was my other big thing. And I remember asking you that right off the bat. I was like, I want to make sure that the things that I'm talking about are going to be received in a way that people are going to get it, you know?

Priyanka: And I think that that's part of why, I say this often, like I think of the working mom brain as just having a unique life's experience that is really something that there's value in addressing in a very specific and very intimate container.

And it's not to say that one is better or worse. And this is not even about like working moms or not working moms, it's just that the life experience of being a working mom is unique. And I think that having what I call a very loving and safe space to be able to just say it all, which we do in this room.

We just say it all and like knowing that we can have agency in that. We can come in with our life's experience, loving our work, loving our kids, and also knowing that sometimes it's creating a lot of drama for us. And there's a coach that gets that for you.

Adrienne: Yeah, I think it was so what I was looking for, and I'm so thankful.

Priyanka: That's so good. That's so good. I remember one of the things you said at the very start that literally, I made a note of it that I wanted to ask you about. It was, I think, in our very first evaluation form.

So for those of you that are listening, we do regular evaluations where we check in on progress on the scale and, again, other parts of our life. And you said something around your goal, which was I want to take this slow. I want to take this slow, I'm not in a rush. Like you literally talked about slowing yourself down. And the sense that I got from you was that you just felt so abundant in being able to do that.

So what would you say to those working moms, and this is so common, they're in a rush, they're feeling the hustle, they want to like squeeze in like every little bit, they're in a rush right? What would you say to them? How do you think you got yourself to that point? Because I think it is so valuable.

Adrienne: I think that to learn some new valuable habits, it takes time for most or many people to make the habit just not even a habit anymore, just part of your existence. And to just like recreate the ways that you have thought, it takes time. And you’re just like reintegrating like a whole new system of being. It just cannot be flipped in a short time.

So, I mean, you cannot eat, you cannot eat for five days and lose 10 pounds, or 12 pounds, or something, I don't even know. But if you go back to eating, you know, it's just not lasting. It's not an effectual way of being. So in my mind I was very comfortable with the thought of like there is nothing to rush.

I knew that it took me years to gain the weight that I had gained, and so to expect a change to happen in a short time was like kind of ludicrous. I mean, why would I almost, it's almost harmful to try to, you know, you can't fix the mind space that created that weight gain by snapping your fingers.

Priyanka: Exactly, yeah. I just love that. And I think that what was so fascinating is because I think you didn't add that extra layer of pressure, like I have to hustle and lose weight quickly, you hit your goals. You were like, “I want to take this slow,” and you set your intention and then you were like hitting your intention, like you're hitting exactly what you said you were going to do and creating this permanent change .

Adrienne: It honestly wasn’t even until the end where I knew, at the end of our six months that I realized it was actually exactly how I -

Priyanka: Exactly what you had said at the very start.

Adrienne: I had no idea.

Priyanka: I know, I had to point that out to you. I was like, “Do you know that this is exactly what you had?”

Adrienne: I did not. I mean, I guess like some people would want to celebrate, you know, losing 80 pounds or 50 pounds. But for me, losing 12 pounds in six months was actually what I had set myself up for.

Priyanka: That was your goal, yeah.

Adrienne: And I've gotten, you know, like there's 12 pounds, but there's also like the person who I've become, you know, this better version of myself. You can't measure that on a scale.

Priyanka: You cannot, you can just feel it, right? And I think this is like what we've been talking about so much in the group, is we think when we lose the weight then we're going to feel better. And what you and I have really been talking about is like, what if we got to start feeling better along the way?

Along the journey what if we got to feel more powerful and like having more agency and unstoppable? What if we got to do that along the way? Even if it slowed the weight loss down, that's okay. But it's so permanent and you come out the other side with just this grounded knowing.

Adrienne: I think that really is the part that people who, oh, like when people ask me how I've lost weight, or, oh, you look different, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, oh, it's coaching. It is dealing with my emotional eating. And I tell people all about it, like very forthcomingly.

Priyanka: Right. And I want to just take that back to you, like it's coaching but it's also you. It's coaching, but you created that and I want to like give you the recognition for that. I think we all should take on the recognition of how you've created your results.

And yes, the coaching container, of course, is what, as you were saying, like crystallizes your thoughts and brings clarity to what's actually just like a mindset piece that we can work through. But you showed up and you created that for yourself.

Adrienne: Yes, I suppose that's true. It is true, I just feel like it's my responsibility to just like spread the word, you know? Because then if one person hears it, they get excited about it too because we just are never told that this, like thoughts, like no one realizes that you can control them. No one tells you that.

Priyanka: And I would also say like no one tells us that we can actually choose what we think. And also I think that, you know, I know for decades I would think things and I’d just assume that they were just facts because they're in my brain. Rather than like having a coach point out like so wait. Like, wait, why? Why do you think that? Or what’s going on? 

Adrienne: I distinctly remember you telling me, I don't know what rabbit hole I was down.

Priyanka: Yes.

Adrienne: And you were like, wait a minute, you're worked up about a scenario and you don't even know that that is a fact? I don't remember your exact words, but it was like something I was really upset and worried about, that there was no evidence at all that it was going to be a reality.

Priyanka: We were talking about work and something coming up in the future. And so you had just started thinking about and ruminating and worrying about how something might go.

Adrienne: Yes, that I refer to as a rabbit hole now. When you go down the rabbit hole and you're sure that it's going to happen and it's all going be bad. And you were like just, and in my mind because we just believe our thoughts, right, or I was believing all those thoughts. I was really worked up about it. And then thanks to that coaching session, I was like, oh, I'm doing that thing that I have done and I don't have to do that.

Priyanka: We don't have to. That's all it is, right? We can just be like, oh, I think the first step is like getting so aware. Wait a second, that was just, okay, that's just that thing I do, and I don't have to do that anymore. I could.

Adrienne: Oh, it's so helpful. What a relief to realize that you don't have to. And even still, now when I do that, you know, I think people probably naturally have those worries that come in and then you go down that rabbit hole. But once you realize what it is, then you can just be like, there's that thing. There's that vigilant little lizard brain who's trying to look around every corner and then getting worried about what's around every corner. Good job, lizard brain. I'm not going to get eaten in the cave if I go in that cave. Oh, okay, I see what we're doing here. Oh, I don't have to do that. Got it.

Priyanka: And you know, what you're talking about is like really steering your brain on purpose, or what I like to say is giving your brain direction on purpose and catching that old pattern, that old programming. Like noticing it and then giving yourself direction. But I think that also a lot of working moms feel uncomfortable at change.

And this was the other thing that you said that really just I'm so fascinated about. It was, again, early on. You said, I think it was in a coaching call, like I have no problem with change. You said it and I loved how you owned it because so many women feel like a little uncomfortable at change because familiarity feels safe.

So what would you say to someone that knows like familiar, even overeating is familiar, right? Like these old ways are familiar. What would you say to them about change and like inspiring that for them?

Adrienne: Well, I think it's just accepting change is a key to getting what you want and where you want to be. And so I just find that to be very accepting. And it's not that it's easy, it's not easy. But if you want something else, you kind of have to do the things. You just have to step into it.

And being afraid of it, it's not super helpful. You've got to call it something else just to like kind of embrace like the hairiness and the learning experience like really that comes into it. Like for me like, oh, I'm just going to overeat on that specific occasion. And then, you know, because I was doing something different, I was in a different scenario, like just embrace it. It's just like a one-time thing, I'm just putting food in my mouth and I'm going to get a dopamine hit on it and now I'm just going to move on.

And change isn't easy, but if you refocus to what you can learn from it, and like it's getting you where you want to be.

Priyanka: Yeah, and I think we've talked about, you know, to create different results in our life, we have to be different. We have to think differently, we have to show up differently. And I think that what we get to do inside any coaching container is like how do we create an environment and teach tools that are simple to do this work, right? So it's not always easy, but it also doesn't have to be too hard, right?

And I think that we've talked about this before in the group, like when we tell ourselves something is too hard, we make it too hard. Rather than like what if it's not easy all the time and so what? That's my favorite, right? So what? And so you're a badass working mom, like let's go. You've done this in so many other areas of our life and now we get to do it with this.

Adrienne: Yeah.

Priyanka: I remember one of the other things that you had mentioned at the very start was you wanted more clarity, right? Like you wanted this group, you wanted to really like understand with more specific details the mindset piece. You wanted more direction, I remember that was one of the things you said on the consult.

And I know for me, like especially when you get into the group, you know you get a plethora of resources with the library, and then the coaching Cafe, and then our live calls. What would you say was your experience of the tools that you learned in our calls, in our workshops? Like what would you say, like did it bring clarity for you when it came to losing the weight?

Adrienne: Yeah, it definitely did. I think different people learn in different ways. And I know myself to be a very visual learner. And I was super excited when I signed up and I got the welcome kit in the mail and it was complete with a book and I'm very much a book learner.

Priyanka: As I think many working moms are, right? We like our manuals and our books and yeah.

Adrienne: So I was pretty excited about that because I could sit down with it and just like kind of get engrossed in it. So that was very important for me. I also really loved having the opportunity to talk on Slack. And just any hour of the day, just like release my I need help into the world. Like this is what's going on, release that into the world. I think honestly that's going to be what I, now that our coaching session has come to a close, our six months, I think I'm going to miss that a lot.

Priyanka: I remember even once like you had written, I think it was you, that you had written down like a thought download on Slack to get coaching. And by the end of it you were almost like, I think I actually kind of figured this out for myself. Almost just like the act of writing and having written coaching, well, I mean, I think written coaching is so valuable when we really leaned into it because you start to uncover your own brain, your own thoughts.

Adrienne: Yeah, it's so important. And I love the little metaphor that you use of just like flossing your brain.

Priyanka: Yes, we floss our teeth, and we like use soap for our bodies. But we think that cleaning out our brain, investing in our brain should be like a one-time thing. And it doesn't have to be, right? It doesn't have to be, it shouldn't be.

Adrienne: It's funny how when you do written coaching you'll have things that come up that you realize to write down that there are thoughts that have literally been just below the surface of your consciousness for decades. I mean, there are things that I, and then I'll be like I can't believe that. It was a thought that I actually believed without even know it existed, and without ever acknowledging that thought, it was truth. And then I just would be like, wow, how do you walk around not knowing that you can dig that stuff out of your head?

Priyanka: Yes. Yeah, absolutely. And I'm curious for you, because I know this is the other thing we were talking a lot about in the group, is that working moms, especially because we're so used to taking care of our kids and taking care of work, and we're not used to prioritizing and investing in ourselves. This was a big topic. It was like one of our very first conversations, like how we feel about investing our own time and our own money in ourselves.

I know you felt that before, but what do you think it was that finally compelled you to be like, you know what, yes, I'm going to invest in myself and like, reap the benefits of that then?

Adrienne: I think I just had total buy in with the thought or concept of putting myself first and then everything kind of radiates out of that. And I fully believed that I would benefit in every way from doing coaching and grow so much. I mean, you can advocate for yourself in a positive, you know, so I think accepting that, yes, there will be some financial commitment here. But then that is a small part of what the big picture here is about getting coached, really. Of what you can accomplish after you've been coached and you've been given that opportunity.

So, to me, it was like a stepping stone. And I was like, oh my god, oh my God. And I would just like lay awake at night before committing, you know, like worrying about the financial piece and like, is this the right time for me to do this?

Priyanka: And we talked about that too, right? We talked about, like, you know, there's money that we invest,  we spend money on vacations, we put money in the bank, or we could invest in our brain. Which will, to me, this is the reason I keep investing in coaching is because I think of our brains, obviously, as our number one commodity that will always give us a return, always.

Adrienne: It's so true. I mean, and I think as educated women, I guess I've always thought of like my brain as I've already invested my brain in my education, right? So why would I struggle to decide if this was the right idea or not?

And I feel really fortunate that it's, you know, I'm really thankful that it helped me navigate so many big things in my life recently, like career wise and that I will continue to draw on the things that I've learned in coaching. Maybe the right answer isn't right here in front of me and I will keep looking for the right answer, but I will navigate it from a place of like, what's the best thing for me? And like drama free, authentic, best thing for me and my family.

Priyanka: Yeah, and like seeing yourself as a badass and having your own back.

Adrienne: Yeah.

Priyanka: I think that that's a big piece of it. And you can have a fall or fail. You can overeat one night, you might not get the job promotion, somebody might say something to you and you might feel like crap.

Adrienne: Absolutely.

Priyanka: And what if we could hold ourselves with so much love and like, listen, we've got you, you’re okay to get back up again with so much more ease?

Adrienne: I know for sure I still have all the same drama, triumphs, tribulations, like fear, you know, normal stuff.

Priyanka: Yes, you're still Adrienne.

Adrienne: Yeah, it's still all the same going on around me. And you know, it's still the stuff that's going on in my head, it's just that I realize that I don't have to believe certain things that go through my head. And sometimes certain things take a little longer than others to kind of come to fruition and to realize what I really need to do with certain thoughts. But it's just like I have those tools now, whereas before it was just like the unmanaged mind.

Priyanka: I'm just curious, just to kind of wrap up, if you think about that working mom who's listening to this podcast episode, she's hearing your story. And she knows that she's just ready to lose the weight. She's ready to get there. She wants to do it in a way that feels simple and forever, like in the real way. And she just is trying to decide whether this is for her, whether Unstoppable is for her. What would you tell her?

Adrienne: Oh, I would tell her this is the right move. It's so much about weight loss, but yet so not only about weight loss. I mean, you will be so forever happy with the decision to get coached with a fellow group of unstoppable moms. I mean, I don't want to go corny, but it'll change your life.

Priyanka: Listen, let's go corny. Yes, I love corny.

Adrienne: My life has been changed and I'm so grateful. And I feel like I've definitely been one to share what you do here with other moms so that we can get the word out and people can know that this opportunity exists. So I would just encourage anyone who's considering to just do it.

Priyanka: Yeah. Adrienne, I love that. First of all, I appreciate you so much. And I love you so much for coming on here and sharing your thoughts and your perspective. And, you know, we went down the road of where you were before and like how you've really navigated this experience. And I really loved how much badassery you brought for yourself.

And I kind of, this is just the sense I get, tell me if this feels true, for you to see yourself as the badassery. I think that what we were doing at the beginning is like, oh, this is a group of women who are badasses. But then like also seeing yourself as also that, which I just acknowledge and I appreciate so, so much. I think so many women will be inspired by that.

Adrienne: Wow. Thank you for those lovely words. I don’t have to be a badass, that’s just lovely.

Priyanka: You are just so amazing. No, I absolutely love it and thank you so much for sharing.

Adrienne: Thank you for having me, what a treat.

Priyanka: It's been amazing.

I hope you enjoyed my interview with Dr. Adrienne Barchard, she is truly just amazing. And her story is not unlike many of the stories of my unstoppable clients. Living in a lighter body happens at the same time as learning how to live a lighter life in your mind. And that is exactly what we do inside The Unstoppable Group.

We are open for enrollment for four more days and spots are limited, so make sure that you head on over to theunstoppablemombrain.com/group to book your consult call with me. Let's discover if you and this room are going to be a best fit for each other. I cannot wait to talk with you. Bye.

Thanks for listening to Weight Loss For Unstoppable Moms. It's been an honor spending this time with you and your brilliant brain. If you want more information or resources from the show, visit theunstoppablemombrain.com.