Hey, this is Dr. Priyanka Venugopal and you’re listening to Weight Loss For Unstoppable Moms episode 31, my conversation with Samantha. Today I'm bringing you a conversation with one of my amazing clients, Samantha, from inside The Unstoppable Group. We are getting into every nook and cranny of her experience, her tangible and intangible wins that she's been creating since we began working together.
Before I share our conversation I wanted to make sure that you knew about some exciting things coming up. I have a brand new masterclass that is happening in less than two weeks. The Antidote To Willpower and Weight Loss is happening on Monday, November 14th at 12pm Eastern Time. Make sure you reserve your seat and block this time out on your calendars. You can reserve your spot at theunstoppablemombrain.com/antidote.
And also pre-enrollment for The Unstoppable Group is opening right after this masterclass. The Unstoppable Group is your opportunity to work directly with me. This group is an intimate, small group coaching container for high-achieving working moms who want to feel better in their bodies, to lose weight with more simplicity and overall feel lighter in their lives. This group is really for you if you feel a readiness, if you just know you're finally done with the weight loss struggle and want the permanent solution.
I teach you a simple and robust process inside this group, and it's a process that you can incorporate into any workweek, any vacation and any holiday that will seriously help you create lasting results. I want you to walk into 2023 lighter. When you join The Unstoppable Group, the best part is that you will get immediate access to the video modules which will teach you my proven formula.
The benefit of joining during pre-enrollment is that you get immediate access to all of this material even before our group kicks off in January. Inside the group we have live weekly coaching calls, we have a members only video portal, and one of my favorite pieces is a 24/7 written coaching cafe where I coach you on all of the things.
We don't just talk about foods and plans inside The Unstoppable Group, we coach on your work, your time, your money, your partner, your kids. We are literally coaching on the root causes for the reason you ever go to food. It is seriously so good.
And being in this intimate room, as Samantha is about to share with you, with other like-minded women is incredibly, incredibly powerful. Make sure you head over to theunstoppablemombrain.com right now so that you can get all of the nuts and bolts about working with me. I will tell you all about the time, the investment, and exactly how to get yourself into this next group. Spots are limited, so make sure you get over there right now to reserve your spot. I can't wait for you to enjoy today's conversation with Samantha. Let's get into it.
If you want to reach your ideal weight and create lightness for your body, you need to have simplicity, joy, and strategic decisions infused into your life. I'm a physician turned life and weight loss coach for ambitious working moms. I've lost over 60 pounds without counting points, calories or crazy exercise plans. Most importantly, I feel calm and light on the scale and in my life. There's some delicious magic when you learn this work and the skills I'm going to be teaching you.
Ready? Let's get to it.
Priyanka: Okay, Samantha, welcome to the podcast. I am going to have you introduce yourself in just a moment. But before I have you introduce yourself, what I want to have everybody listening really know about you is that Samantha is a ninja working mom. She is doing lots of things and she is losing a lot of weight as she's doing it. So I cannot wait for you to tell us about yourself, share where you have been, and tell us your story with your career, your kids, and where you started out on the scale.
Samantha: All right, well, I am Samantha. I am in my mid-30s, I have two elementary school kids. My youngest just started kindergarten this year, so it's been a pretty big milestone year for my family. I work full-time for a general contractor, but I'm in IT and kind of worked my way all around the company and ended up in IT really like right before the pandemic. And with that I also started working from home. So I've been working from home for about five years. And I think that that had a lot to do with my weight loss journey, or my weight gain journey that turned into a weight loss journey.
And then I also have big hobbies. I like to make crafts. I like to work with my hands and color. It sounds silly, but coloring is one of those things that keeps me calm. Like when they started coming out with those adult coloring books I jumped on that train real fast because it keeps me calm and kind of eases my own anxieties. So yes, so I do, I make a lot of crafts and that is something that I really also enjoy doing with my kids is, you know, anything art related.
Yeah, so I guess last year right around this time I had my annual physical and it was kind of looking in the mirror, you know, I knew I was at my heaviest or right very, very close to my heaviest. And I knew I wanted to do something about it. And I kept telling myself, “Let's do something about it, let's do something about it.” And motivation was not necessarily where it should have been.
And anything that I tried, which I didn't really try that much, to be perfectly honest. You know, I would exercise and then I wouldn’t lose weight and then I'd be like, “Okay, well, I'm not going to exercise anymore, this isn't working,” and things like that. But when I went into my annual physical my doctor said, “You need to lose weight.” She was like, “You have crossed over into, you know, “obese.” It was like looking in the mirror and really hearing what I needed to hear.
Hearing it from someone else straight to my face was very honest. So that kind of started it. And then I was very, not very careful, but I was pretty careful with what I was eating and lifestyle changes that I could make towards the beginning of the year. And then I found out about this group and everything kind of shifted in, gosh, June.
Priyanka: So you know that moment that, and I think that so many of us have felt that. I remember I used to feel like that. I would look in the mirror, like my actual mirror, I’d be like, “I should do something about this.” Or like, “I should just lose a little bit of weight. I need to do something, I should do something and I want to do something.” But there was just a gap between that, like I should do something, I should do something, and actually going out and doing it.
What do you think it was? Like you went to this annual visit and your physician was like, “Listen, you really do need to do something.” What was it in that moment that flipped a switch for you that you were like, “Okay, this is real.”
Samantha: I think it was the word obese. I think there was that and also, you know, I realized when I wanted to get my Covid shot, I was like I can get it earlier than everybody else because I'm overweight. Which was great at the time, but at the same time I was like, I don't want this to be my limiting factor. I don't want this to be my, you know, whatever. Whatever they call it that is the reason for it.
Priyanka: Yeah, like your whole story.
Samantha: Yeah. So you know, it was kind of the kick in the butt that I needed.
Priyanka: Yeah, yeah. Well, you were saying that you've been working from home for about five years now. What do you think about your relationship with that number on the scale, the weight? Have you felt like weight loss or weight gain, rather, has been a struggle for you forever, since you were a child? Or do you feel like it was just the last five years being at home that it really became a problem?
Samantha: Well, I grew up in gymnastics. So there was a lot of body talk, you know, what do you look like? What is your muscle composition? Things like that. And then I got too tall and my body started developing and that is not what you really want in a gymnast body.
So by the time I was really into puberty my body had changed. But also I didn't have good skills as far as eating and healthy habits, and really exercising because I didn't know what an appropriate amount of exercise was. Because prior to that it was just that's all I did. I could eat anything I wanted because I was exercising five days a week. And like intense exercise, especially for a kid.
But through middle school and high school I was somewhat thin, but it was very easy for me to put on weight. College definitely put on more weight. And then I got married right out of college and we both really like food. But my husband likes exercise a lot more than I do so I kind of, the weight gain persisted, I would say.
And then I had my first kid and I thought pregnancy was the worst thing in the world. Like I did not feel good. It was nausea all the time for like, really the first five or six months. And I lost a lot of weight while I was pregnant. And that was like the first time where I was like, “Huh, look at this. It's been a long time since I've lost weight or gained so little, especially.”
Priyanka: And it's interesting because some people, like during pregnancy, they will gain so much weight in pregnancy and they have a tough time losing it. And what's interesting, because as an OBGYN you see it happen both ways. And I think that the effect that pregnancy has on our body and then our mind, it's like it's just so interesting what happens after, right? So yeah, so share what happened with you after.
Samantha: Yeah, so I mean, really towards the end of my first pregnancy, that was the first time in my life that I really remember thinking like, I like my body. I'm happy in my body. I felt very womanly, very fulfilled. I had a big giant belly, but I felt like this was what it was supposed to be.
And even though I had a big giant belly I felt thin, I didn't feel heavy. And then after I had him, you know, I felt a little squishy, but that happens. And I wouldn't say I gained a whole bunch of weight between that pregnancy and my second one, which is my last baby, I only have two kids. But I noticed changes in my body. Like my hips were wider, my boobs were bigger, you know, just things like that that I wasn't quite used to.
And then with my second I had a very similar reaction to the pregnancy where I was very sick, lost weight, really came out of the hospital weighing as much as I did before I was pregnant. So kind of great, but also very shifted in the way that my body was looking. And I nursed him after, I didn't really nurse my first one. But I kind of realized when I was breastfeeding how many calories I was burning by doing that and so I didn't really gain weight right away.
But then when that journey stopped, boy those pounds came on fast. And I had kind of been warned about it and I didn't, I was like, “No, that didn't happen last time. This will be fine.” And then they just kept coming on, it just kept going. And it really brought me to where I am now.
Priyanka: Yeah. When you think about, like how much weight would you say you gained in terms of like, because you stopped nursing and then all of a sudden, or not all of a sudden, it probably crept on and it just wasn't stopping. Was it just like a few pounds? Was it like 10, 20, 30, 40 pounds? Like how did you start to feel like, okay, this is just creeping on, it’s becoming a problem?
Samantha: I would say it was probably 25 to 30. And that was probably like right at the beginning of the pandemic when I was like, “Ooh, this isn't how I want to be.” And then the pandemic also didn't help. Like my anxiety really just kept me inside. I was like, I don't want to socialize. I don't even want to socially distance. Like I just wanted to shut down in my own home and not move and eat all the food.
Priyanka: And eat all the food. And I think what you're sharing, it's like such a common story that I hear so often. People have gained weight during Covid because of exactly what you're describing. You stay at home and there's not as much to do, so very naturally we're like, let's just eat. We can eat, we can scroll, we can watch TV. I mean, we can like stream all the shows and the movies now. And not surprisingly, a lot of people gained weight during Covid.
And yeah, so when you think about like that moment, what do you think was the struggle for you to lose weight before coaching? So one was like, you already shared, like okay, now I need to do something. But you weren't doing anything. What was it that was a struggle for you?
Samantha: You know, I think that part of it is there's so many options of things to do that you want to do everything all at once. So, you know, it’ll be like, okay, well, I'm going to, as an example, like I'm not going to drink wine during the week. But also I'm going to exercise every day this week. And I'm going to walk the kids to school. And I'm going to do, you know, eat vegetarian Monday through Friday.
And it's like, okay, so I just listed off four things, but realistically how many of those things am I going to do every day for five days? So that was, it was almost like information overload. And I really had a hard time finding things that would fit in with my family life. And I think that that is something that appeals to me about the process that we're going through now, is that it just, you know, I eat when I'm hungry and it doesn't really matter what everybody else is doing.
So that was a big thing for me is, you know, how is it going to fit in? You know, if my husband opens a bottle of wine do I have to drink that bottle of wine also? Like do I have to participate in this? And now I kind of just don't care as much. I'm still participating in the wine.
Priyanka: I mean, yeah. Yeah, and I think that one of the things that you're talking about, which I think is so common is this idea that there is information overload. If you Google or look up weight loss and how to lose weight, you will see so many options. There's counting points and calories, and if you just exercise.
And some of those things will work, right? If you counted the points forever, or the calories, or you exercise like crazy, you will lose weight. But then you have to also maintain that forever. And then I think it's very normal and natural when we feel overwhelm, which I've shared on the podcast recently, what we do is we eventually quit or we hide because it just is exhausting for our brain to be like, it's too many options to even choose from.
So when you think about how it used to be for you before, and we'll talk about what we're doing now together. Can you just first share how did you even discover Unstoppable and what was it that made you decide out of all the options, because there's so many, that this was the one for you?
Samantha: I think I discovered Unstoppable actually from like a Facebook group post from our town. And then I started following you from there and I think I followed you for several months. And then you came out with the podcast and I was listening to the podcast. And I think you were like three episodes into the podcast and you're like, go to my website and check this out. And I was like, you know, it doesn't hurt me to go to a website and check something out. And then immediately, we had our phone call.
So things moved very quickly from there. But yeah, I think it was, ultimately it was like Facebook and following you on Instagram, like all the social medias. All the things I shouldn't be scrolling, but do.
Priyanka: Yeah, but scrolling, you know. So when you think about all the options that were available, what do you think it was about, I think we had a consult call. What was it do you think on that call that there was a part of you that felt like, okay, this is the right thing for me? Because as you know, there's so many options out there. What was it that was like, you know what, this is it?
Samantha: I felt very comfortable. I think that that was a lot of it. I think that the fact that we have a weekly call is incredibly helpful. You know, I know that I need to hold myself accountable. But coming into a weekly call and either feeling great about myself for that week, or potentially down on myself or embarrassed because of something that I did. I think that that's kind of, it goes back to like my annual physical last year.
I'm looking in the mirror and I'm having somebody tell me back like, you know what, it's okay that you didn't lose weight this week, and this is why. Or how do you think you could have done better? Or what do you want to change? I think that I do very well with that. So having a group of people to discuss that with, not a huge group, but just anybody that's not just like me looking in a mirror is huge.
Priyanka: Yeah, I think kind of what you're speaking to is just like the intimate nature of what The Unstoppable Group is, it's a very intimate room. And I still remember somebody else was getting coached and how much it resonated with you when we were talking about emotions and the thoughts and experiences of the other women in this room, and how you get to just take it through the filter of your brain, even though everyone is different, right?
Like in this room, we're all unique and we all have come in with a different lived experience. But you were really taking away a lot from the coaching that other people were getting. What do you think about that?
Samantha: Well, I'm a very emotional person, as you know. You know, I'm a crier. But I think that my entire life I've done a really, really good job of learning from other people and kind of absorbing the experiences that other people go through as well.
So I like that in our coaching, I guess we call them sessions, or in our chats that we have online, I like being able to sit back and watch other people go through it as well, because it may not have been something that I can put into words, but I can understand what they're going through and I can learn from it.
And I can choose whether that's something that I want to impact my life or not, or something that I want to implement. But being able to see other people going through it and knowing you're not alone, I think is also very helpful.
Priyanka: Yeah. And I think, you know, actually, I've been really thinking a lot about what is it about this intimate group that I love so much? And what we do a lot in our weekly coaching calls is we validate and normalize our humaneness, right? And I think that when we get to witness somebody else also like validating and normalizing their humaneness, I think it just expands and grows our capacity to maybe I can offer this to myself too.
Because when somebody else is getting coached, and you can see that they're being hard on themselves, you can see their inner critic coming out and I can't believe that I did this thing, and you hear the judgment and the criticism. It's so much easier to see with someone else like, oh, like they're being so hard on themselves. And probably when you see the coaching, you get to start asking yourself, “Wait a second, I could also offer that same compassion to myself. Like what would that be like?”
Samantha: Oh yeah. And I think one of the things we do is like, I know that I'm saying this to myself, but I wouldn't say this to my kids. I wouldn't say this to my best friend if she came to me asking me for help or advice. So be nice to yourself. And it's really hard to do, it's really hard to do. But sometimes when you just step back and think about it, it's like, okay, let's start over. It's okay.
Priyanka: Yeah. Tell me about that. Like this idea of being nice to yourself is so hard to do. Why do you think it's been so hard to do and where are you at now in that journey of being nicer to yourself?
Samantha: I'm getting better. You know, I'm not great. I didn't always have great self-esteem, I think a lot of that kind of came from my upbringing and that definitely stems from my parents. But you know, it's taken me a lot as an adult to kind of understand that it's okay to be happy, it's okay to be unhappy. I deserve to treat myself with respect. I deserve to treat myself nicely. These things don't always come easily, for sure.
And I personally take a lot of reminding in that, you know? And I still see my own psychologist who's telling me, you know, don't be so hard on yourself, it's okay. And we stumble, and we get back up. But it's taken me a very long time to kind of figure this out, but I'm getting there.
Priyanka: Yeah, I mean, I think one of the things that you said in our coaching call last week, which is why I was like I really wanted to have you on the podcast and share your story is, I've worked really hard to feel proud and it hasn't always been easy to feel pride. It's almost like, and I think that a lot of us do this, we are conditionally proud. Like if I'm doing well, then I get to be proud. And if I'm not doing well, then I don't.
And that was probably one of the very first things that we coached on, is what would it be like to feel proud of yourself along the way, knowing that we are human and we will have moments that we go off, or we overeat, or we yell at our kids, or we're not being our ideal self the way we want to be. And at the same time, maybe it's okay to still be proud of just the way I'm showing up. What would you say has been your journey with pride?
Samantha: Well that's all very accurate, everything you just said. And I kind of came into this thinking, I'm not really going to feel proud of myself until I meet my goal, you know, my ultimate end goal. And I think it really took about until last week where it really clicked that I'm proud of myself for how far I've come already.
And not just through weight loss, but in the fact that I'm sticking with it, I'm sticking with the process. And there have been points where I've tripped on this process and I'm getting back up. And I'm still here, and I'm still working on it, and I'm still doing a good job. And I'm pretty proud of myself for that.
Priyanka: Yeah, I love that. And actually, it's one of the things that I say on most consult calls. I don’t know if you remember me saying this to you, but I want you to trip, I want you to have the weekend where you like forgot what you wanted to do. I want you to have the vacation where you come back and you've gained a pound. Like I want those experiences.
And part of the reason is because if it was perfect the whole way, if you had just this linear, like I always do this gesture with my hand if you're seeing me on video. It's like if we just had perfectly linear weight loss then you would never have had to do the deeper work that we're talking about, which is befriending yourself every time you fall. And that's just not real. Linear results are just not real life, right?
So what is the impact, if you imagine, okay, I am a real human, I'm a ninja. I really think of all of us in this room as unstoppable women, but we're also human, which means we're not perfect. We're going to put our best foot forward, and sometimes we won't. And like what if we could just glean so much wisdom and love and compassion in the journey of it? What if that's all we had to do?
Samantha: I think that's such an incredible thing to learn too, and there is a lot of learning that goes on. But I think we have to consider the fact that this is real life and you're going to have a weekend where you don't stick with your plan, or a week, or even longer, or a vacation or whatever. I think it's okay to come back and be not necessarily I failed, but be able to learn from it and say like, “Okay, I did this. I didn't fail, but I did this. So what am I going to do now?”
Priyanka: Yes, I love that so much because I think, and you tell me if this has been your experience, but all of the times that I have seen any of us “fail,” I'm putting that in quotes. Like we gain some weight, or we overeat, or we just forget our plan and we gain weight on the scale. There have been so many times, I can think month after month, year after year I'm like, “Eff that. Screw it, like why bother?”
And it's that moment that turns into weeks, months, years, and the creep up just turns into pounds and pounds and pounds. And now all of a sudden we are left with just being so much heavier in our body, in our life. And the worst part is, now we have created even more belief like, see, I can't do it.
So how do you think for you, you transitioned that part? Which is like every time you take a “fail” and make it a problem versus what we're doing now? Which is every time we have that it's like of course this is not a problem, how am I going to learn from this? Like how do you think you started to pivot your brain with that?
Samantha: I think a lot of that comes from the daily work. So kind of, you know, I like to lay in my bed at night and just like lay there still and quiet and think like, how does my body feel right now? And I think, you know, it's very easy to turn something into a fail. Like today is Friday and I typically measure my week from Monday to Friday. And I did not meet my goal this week.
I don't think of it as I failed in my goal this week. I didn't get to where I wanted to be and I'm a little bummed about that. But so many other great things happened this week and when I went to bed last night and I laid in my bed I was like, I'm feeling pretty good right now. You know, my body feels pretty good right now. And especially the fact that I had my annual physical this morning.
Priyanka: Oh my gosh, yes. Talk about full circle that you had your annual visit again, today. Yes.
Samantha: I had it again today and it was just like I came out of that feeling so much better. And so even though I haven't met my weight loss goal of where I ultimately want to be, and I didn't meet my goal of this year, I think back to like where was I last year? And it's a world of difference in not just a number on the scale, but how I feel and how I feel about myself.
So I think it's still definitely a learning process, but realizing that I'm not necessarily failing at things, and finding how I can be constructive with those things is really helpful.
Priyanka: Yeah, and I think, you know, for anyone that's listening, when Samantha refers to our daily work, I take my clients through daily and weekly work that really allows all of us in the room to give our brain direction on purpose, to remember what is deeply important to us, while we also delight our bodies. Like our whole bodies, our taste buds and our bodies.
And I think that, you know, one of the things that you said at the start was like, “I like food.” Like you and your husband, we like food. And yet you're losing weight while still delighting in food and enjoying your glass of wine. And you have Halloween candy in your house. And like tell us about how you have been able to delight your whole self and also lose weight at the same time.
Samantha: A lot of it comes from training myself to eat slower because the slower I eat, the more I'm paying attention and I understand that I'm full way before, or not even full, but like satiated before I used to be. So I'm just not eating as much food as I used to be. You know, there was a good amount of time where I had cut out flour and sugar, they're back now. And I'm seeing those results of them being back as well, so I have things to consider there.
But my husband went to Costco probably a month ago, maybe more and bought three gigantic bags of Halloween candy and they have not been opened. And that is something that is huge for my house because normally my kids would have opened it, I would have opened it, I'd be sneaking Kit-Kats up into my attic or I'm not sneaking but like bringing, you know, like coming up for work I'd be sitting at my computer in my garbage can would just be like Halloween candy galore. And then it's like, oh shoot, Halloween is here, where's all the candy?
Priyanka: It's all gone, yes.
Samantha: But we haven't even opened them. And I'm kind of realizing I don't need it and I don't want it.
Priyanka: I just love that because whenever I think about you're losing weight and you're not feeling deprived or restricted. It's like the Halloween candy is there and you're not muscling through, this is kind of what we talk about a lot. Like anytime I think historically that you or I have ever talked about like losing weight the old way, we can call it the old way. We've had to willpower our way, like muscle through the next plan, muscle through like needing to count the points or exercise. And what you're talking about is releasing willpower and really just lowering your desire. Like you're not even wanting it.
Samantha: I also think that part of it is when you deprive yourself of something, you almost want it more, you know? Like my diet is going to be I'm not eating chocolate anymore. And then, of course, the first thing that you're going to want is chocolate. So knowing that if I wanted to eat Halloween candy right now I could, I could. And it would be fine. You know, I'd probably see the results of it tomorrow and I’d feel it tonight while I'm going to sleep and I’d think probably wish I didn't eat that Halloween candy today. But here we are so let's learn from it and do better tomorrow.
Priyanka: And you said something pretty important around like you took a break from flour and sugar and then you've incorporated it back. And I'm curious for you, and I think this is, again, like part of the continuing work. When we talk about weight loss and maintaining it a lot of what I talk about inside Unstoppable is we want to lose weight the way that we want to maintain it, right?
So we don't want to go on these crazy diets, lose all this weight and then like go back to the old way of eating and gain it all back. What we want to do is become intentional and deliberate with the way that we eat and then start experimenting, right? So how has that been going for you when you think about reincorporating flour and sugar in ways that serve you versus like, do you feel like it's been a tough process to learn?
Samantha: I think that sugar was very easy to learn. Sugar to me is one of those things that when I realize I'm eating a lot of sugar or I'm consuming a lot of sugar in drinks or whatever, I feel it very quickly on my body. You know, I'm tired, I'm getting headaches, I'll be really energized and then I'm really tired. And I also have kind of figured out what those triggers are.
Flour for me has been a lot harder, it was an incredibly present thing in my diet before completely cutting it out of my diet for a little while. And after kind of seeing those results of not having flour and sugar, both at the same time, you know, it was great. I lost a lot of weight very quickly, which was amazing. But I did feel a little deprived. And I think that that was one of the things that was hard for me.
We tend to eat a lot of pasta, but now I kind of look back and I'm like, “All right, well, we don't need to have pasta three times a week. Maybe we have it one time a week and maybe we have a salad on the side so that I'm not eating as much pasta.” I can still enjoy it. But I'm not eating as much of it. But I still also feel that.
Priyanka: Yeah, and I think that that's such an important, it's like what you're describing is kind of what I want everyone to hear. I will recommend for anyone that ever joins Unstoppable, I do recommend taking a break from flour and sugar for a few weeks to detox and to like stopping under its drunken influence. And then we go on the grandest experiment where we decide like, okay, if I incorporated it, how does my body feel? Forget just the scale.
I remember when you, this was a few weeks ago or maybe it was two months ago, you had really taken the break and you talked about how you felt so much better. Like the energy in your body and you just felt lighter in your gut. Like just that, forget the scale. I mean, that's of course nice to see the scale come down, but your clothes fitting, like fitting into dresses you had not worn in who knows how long.
Samantha: Yeah, that was a long time in that dress.
Priyanka: Yes, that was amazing. And it wasn't the flour and sugar, I think it was your willingness to eat in a way that also felt good for your body. What do you think about that?
Samantha: I think that that's very true. I always thought I ate fairly healthy. You know, I eat a pretty rich diet in vegetables, I guess I would say, or a diet rich in vegetables. And I like eating healthy, I like the feeling when I'm eating healthy. And I like the taste of healthy foods. But I also really like the taste of unhealthy foods. You know, I like pretty much all foods.
But I think in evaluating how I feel, it makes it much clearer what foods not only I should and shouldn't be eating, but what foods do I really like. I like the taste of unhealthy foods, but I don't like the way that they make me feel. So the desire to eat them is less.
Priyanka: Yes, and I think that this was one of the, and you tell me if this feels true, like one of the biggest pieces over our time together was like really connecting with your body. I think it was you who said like, “Oh, but I like it.” And I was like your taste buds like it, but how does your whole body like it, right?
And what if we, instead of saying or, like my taste buds like it and my body doesn't like it, what would allow for both right? If we could let our whole self-delight in the way we eat, then what would that be like? What would the impact of that be?
Samantha: Yeah, exactly. I'm growing and learning in how food and what I eat makes me feel all around, not just my taste buds.
Priyanka: Yeah. And when you think about like, you know, forget just the physical weight that you've lost and how your clothes are fitting and all of that and your amazing annual today, what would you say are some of the intangible changes in your life, in your mind, in how you feel that you've experienced just from coaching and being in The Unstoppable Group?
Samantha: Well, I think I've definitely taken habits from this group that will, for sure, stay with me, not just in eating and portion control and understanding my satiety and hunger levels. But just kind of I think something that has become very routine for me now is that stillness that I have at the end of the day, where like I'm just kind of laying there and like let's evaluate how things went today. How do I feel? Why do I feel this way? What did I do today that is making me feel this way?
That is something that I've gotten very good at and it's something that I want to take with me, you know, even if it doesn't become or even if it doesn't maintain being so food focused. But I think that that's something that that I'll take with me for as long as I possibly can.
Priyanka: Oh yeah. And I think even what you're referring to, it's like we're not even looking at the portion sizes of things anymore. We're talking about like your body and when she's hungry and when she's comfortable, like if we just honored that, right? And the impact of that is beyond the scale. The impact of that is just feeling so much more comfortable in this forever home that we have.
Samantha: And let's keep it healthy, because it’s the only one we have.
Priyanka: That's right. And I think this is the other thing that we had talked about, like what is the lifetime impact of that? What do you think that is for you when you imagine that?
Samantha: I think that that was one of the motivating factors of why I wanted to join this group. And you know, thinking, okay, I could wait another six months and then join the group. But it's like in six months I'm six months older. And, you know, I'm still pretty young so if I can learn to be healthy now and to make healthy choices for my body that are going to impact me going forward, why not start now?
I also think it's great for my kids. They’re at ages where they're very impressionable. And so even if they're just watching me make good choices, you know, they're still eating the candy, they don't care. And that's fine, you know, they're eight years old. But understanding that there are healthy choices to be made and it's not necessarily by counting calories, or doing things that aren't necessarily there for longevity, I think has an important impact on their lives as well.
Priyanka: Oh yeah. And tell me whether this feels true, but like even just allowing your inner voice to go from the self-critical, like judging or criticizing every “fail” to what are we going to learn from this and being more compassionate and patient with yourself, how do you think that that impacts them and like what they're going to learn from that?
Samantha: Well, I hope they learn a lot from it because that's something that I did not learn as a child. So I think lack of judgment is a huge thing. I've definitely heard judgment in my own kids, you know, where even if it's just like something they do poorly on a homework assignment, like you don't want to hear your own kid say like, “I'm so dumb.” You know, something like that. Let's learn about that now and figure it out.
And as long as I keep positive self-talk, even if it's internal, you know, if I'm not expressing it outwardly, they still pick up on that.
Priyanka: Every little grain, I mean this is the one thing, I know this podcast is not about parenting but I kind of share a lot around even in our calls, like around a lot of my personal coaching with my son, it's like even if I'm not saying things out loud to my kids, if I have an inner critic, if I'm always criticizing myself in my own mind, they pick up on that vibe and they will start to mirror it back to us.
Priyanka: And when we start to soften that and understand ourselves and like really do the work that we're talking about, they get to glean from that too.
Samantha: Definitely. They are like little mirrors.
Priyanka: Oh yeah. So when you think about like someone listening to this podcast and they have just been bitten by the bug, they know that coaching is for them, they know that they want to lose weight, but they're hesitating. And they're thinking like, “Should I do this now? Maybe I should wait.” What would you say to another working mom who's like doing all the things but also wants to lose weight? What would you tell them about joining this group?
Samantha: I think I would say really consider why, if you want to wait consider why you want to wait. Make sure that you're ready to put in the work mentally and I think just be open to it because it's not just a physical process of losing weight. It's not like you're hopping on your stationary bike and you're just going to, the weight is going to melt off. You know, it is a challenge and you have to put in the work.
But when it really comes to it, we're, what, four months in? It's really not that hard. It feels really challenging at the beginning.
Priyanka: Can you just speak to that for a second? Yeah, it's like that piece, right? So like, I think that this is so important for people to hear, like there is work. I am going to be teaching you a process, it will be different than what maybe you have been doing. And it is an immersive experience, right? Like having a weekly check in and doing the daily work. But how is doing that not so hard? Like what would you say your experience with that has been?
Samantha: I think, you know, it's on my mind all the time, but the majority of the difficult habits, I would say, that I'm trying to overcome have to do with just reminding myself of things. And I went into this thing like reminding myself to be proud of myself, that it's not that big of a deal, or are you full? Are you hungry? Are you actually hungry when you're picking up this food to put it in your mouth? You know, that is, it sounds silly but it's such an easy thing to do, but it's also the hardest.
Priyanka: Yes, it's these little moments that maybe beforehand we didn't think mattered. It's like this moment doesn't matter, or I'll start again tomorrow, or like this one just isn't a big deal. It's actually those small moments that are simple, small moments that just compound.
And I think that that's why so many of my clients will say like when they started losing weight and they see the weight come off, they're like, “Actually, this is actually simple. Yeah, I'm doing something new. And it's also, it is actually simple.”
Samantha: It makes a lot of sense.
Priyanka: And it makes a lot of sense.
Samantha: It makes a lot of sense. But I really think the hardest part of the entire thing is carving out that one hour a week from my work day to say, “Okay, I'm getting on this phone call.” And then when something else pops up, like I need to make sure that I am the priority. So whatever else that may be, and I will be honest, I've had a work conflict come up and I've missed the call, and then I'm bummed about it.
So I need to remember I'm doing this for myself and I need to maintain that level of priority. So if something else comes up that I can move, I'm going to.
Priyanka: That's right. And I think that that's one of the big things that I will always share, it's going to be part of just like the energy that I want to put out into the universe for any woman, mom, working lady hearing this is we cannot wing what matters to us anymore. And we've talked about this even in our coaching calls, that we're so used to like prioritizing our kids, and our families, and our work. And we want to do amazing for all of these pieces of our life. We have just been winging it for ourself.
And what you're talking about is like we're not winging it anymore. We are putting ourselves on our own calendars and we are just starting to reflect what deeply matters with these choices that we make. And I think that this is also part of the thing, that like when we're busy. It's okay that you miss an occasional call, right? Like sometimes life is happening, and that's what we have to call replays available to come back and listen to and like, you know, geek out on whenever you happen to miss a call.
Samantha: Yeah, I agree. And it's always funny because I'll occasionally go back and watch a call that I've been on. And there's so much of like, oh, I don't like to hear my own voice or I don't like, I don't want to see myself on a video. But it’s like that was a really important moment and I need to replay that. And I can't just replay it in my mind, I need to actually see it.
Priyanka: Yes, and I think sometimes what happens is like when you're getting coached, you're so in getting coached that going back and having the ability to watch your coaching is huge because you start to see it totally differently after the fact.
Samantha: Yes. And I’ll write, I have like Post-its next to me, I don't usually don't write things down. But I'll just like write down random words and then I'll look at it later and be like, “I don't know what this means.” So being able to like go back and see and like, oh yes, that's, that is what I meant by, you know, commitment or whatever, any random word.
Priyanka: Yeah. And I think that probably commitment is probably coming because we recently have been talking about how we don't ever want to use motivation to lose weight. And we know that's because Monday morning’s motivation is gone by like Tuesday night or Wednesday afternoon.
Samantha: Monday night.
Priyanka: Yeah, Monday night, there you go. Monday morning’s motivation, everybody listen to me, if you're Monday morning’s motivation is gone by Monday night, Samantha is here to tell you you don't need motivation. You don't need motivation to lose weight, that's like such a big piece of it. All you need is commitment, and you learn that inside Unstoppable.
So good. Samantha, thank you so much for coming on and sharing your story. And I think that one of the biggest takeaways that I'm having from what you're sharing is that you could have had whatever experience, lived experience, coming into this and it is all taken care of when you learn this work. It's simple, it's work, but it's doable. What would you say to that?
Samantha: Definitely doable. Very doable.
Priyanka: Yeah. So good, Samantha. Thank you so much.
Samantha: You're welcome.
Guys, I have a brand new free masterclass coming your way. On Monday, November 14th at 12pm Eastern Time we're going to dive into the antidote to willpower and weight loss. Here's why you absolutely have to get yourself into this master class, most simply willpower just doesn't work for permanent change on the scale. You'll know that this is you if you've tried to force yourself to follow your plan or eat those perfect foods because you think it will help you lose weight.
Sure, it works for a few days or a few weeks. But it just doesn't create permanent results. I see you and it is the reason that I have created this masterclass just for you. Because more unstoppable ninjas can free themselves from relying on willpower.
I highly recommend that you come live, but if you cannot make it don't worry. When you're signed up you will absolutely get access to the replay. Head on over to theunstoppablemombrain.com/antidote to reserve your seat. That's theunstoppablemombrain.com/ A-N-T-I-D-O-T-E to reserve your spot and I will see you in your email inbox with all of the details.
And also, pre-enrollment for the next intimate Unstoppable Group will be opening right after this masterclass. Spots are limited so make sure you have marked your calendars and get yourself ready. This is going to be your opportunity to do the work that we have been talking about here intellectually and implement it into your real life. I cannot wait to see you so soon. Bye.
Thanks for listening to Weight Loss For Unstoppable Moms. It's been an honor spending this time with you and your brilliant brain. If you want more information or resources from the show, visit theunstoppablemombrain.com.