Episode #38: Lessons from a Quitter with Goli Kalkhoran

Listen on Apple Podcasts | Spotify Podcasts | Google Podcasts 

Summary

If you have ever felt like you should be doing more, or you should just be more, and quitting isn’t an option, this episode is for you. You’ll learn a practical exercise that will help you drop the working-mom guilt so much easier and faster.

This week, I’m bringing you a wonderful conversation between myself and my fellow coach and friend Goli Kalkhoran. A few weeks ago, she posted on Instagram about some of the problems working moms face, mom guilt, and how our should thoughts get in the way of us living our best lives. What she was sharing was so good, I knew I had to have her on the podcast.

One thing that ninja working moms generally don’t do is decide to quit. Even the thought of quitting makes many of us uncomfortable. But the truth is, not quitting now might just mean quitting on your future dreams. So, tune in this week because Goli Kalkhoran is unpacking all the shoulds that lead to mom guilt, and sharing why quitting is actually the secret to figuring out who you are, what you want, and how to get it.

If you’re listening in real time, this is the last week to enroll in The Unstoppable Group for the January 2023 cohort. Reaching your ideal weight and living a lighter life is possible for you, and it starts with making powerful decisions right now. So, click here to book a consult call, where we can discuss exactly how we can work together before it’s too late.

What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

• How the thought of quitting and being a quitter provokes a negative reaction.
• Why shoulding is such a common problem for high-achieving ninja working moms.
• What you can do to free yourself of the shoulding, so you can decide how you want to be living.
• How realizing that quitting is an option brings back the agency so many working moms lose.
• Why sometimes, quitting something opens up amazing opportunities for the future.
• How to see that quitting is always an option and there’s nothing wrong with changing your mind.
• Why quitting because you’re afraid you’ll fail only serves to make your life smaller.
• Goli’s lessons for deciding when you want to quit and getting clear on your reasons for quitting or staying.
• A simple exercise you can use in those moments when you feel guilty for not being enough.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Enjoy the Show?:

• Follow: Get new episodes in your feed every single week on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google or search "Weight Loss for Unstoppable Moms" on your favorite platform.

• Rate & Review: Take a few seconds and leave your magic review in the stars and comments of this show.

• Instagram: Come hang out with me on Instagram, you'll find me in your daily feed @theunstoppablemombrain

   

Featured on the Show:

• Want to work with me? Let's talk on a consult call: click here to book your call
• Learn more about about The Unstoppable Group by clicking here.
• The Free Power Start Weight Loss Training: Click here 
• Goli Kalkhoran: Website | Facebook | Instagram | Podcast | TikTok

Full Episode Transcript:

Click here to download the full transcript

• Priyanka Venugopal: Hey, this is Dr. Priyanka Venugopal, and you're listening to Weight Loss for Unstoppable Moms, Episode 38, Lessons from a Quitter with Goli Kalkhoran. Today is seriously one of my best conversations that I have had on this podcast, and it is with my good friend and fellow coach Goli Kalkhoran. A few weeks ago she posted about working moms on Instagram and she was talking about mom guilt and how so much of our should thoughts really get in the way of living our best life.

  And just watching her on Instagram and honestly knowing her personally, I knew that I had to have her on the podcast. If you ever have felt like you should do more, you should work more, or as a mom, you should be more, this episode is just for you. You're going to learn a specific and tangible exercise, and seriously just implementing it starting today is going to help you drop the working mom guilt too.

  Before I get into this conversation with Goli, I wanted to let you know that this is the last week to [00:01:00] enroll in the Unstoppable Group for the January cohort. I wanna make sure that you know that reaching your ideal weight and living a lighter life is possible for you, and it starts with making powerful decisions now.

  Head on over to theunstoppablemombrain.com/group to learn all about exactly how we can work together. Okay? I cannot wait for you to enjoy today's episode. If you want to reach your ideal weight and create lightness for your body, you need to have simplicity, joy, and strategic decisions infused into your life.

  I'm a physician turned life and weight loss coach for ambitious working moms. I've lost over 60 pounds without counting points, calories, or crazy exercise plans. Most importantly, I feel calm and light on the scale and in my life. There's some delicious magic when you learn this work and the skills I'm going to be teaching you.

  Ready? Let's get to it.

  Hello, hello. Okay, everybody. I have such a special guest with you today coming to the podcast. She is the host of the very popular podcast, Lessons from a Quitter. She is a master certified coach and the founder of a membership that helps unfulfilled professionals stop hating their career. My friends, I cannot wait to bring you Goli.

  Goli, please come introduce yourself. Welcome to the podcast. Tell us all about you.

  Goli Kalkhoran: Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to be here and to talk about the things that we're gonna talk about cause they're so important. Yeah. Like you mentioned, I was one of those unfulfilled professionals. I used to be a lawyer for a number of years.

  I was just a typical type A, high achieving, overachiever who got a lot of pats on the head of like throughout school and was told I was doing great and I did. And I went to a really great law school and I had a pretty successful career and I was absolutely miserable. And I ended up walking away from the law in 2014 and I was really lost and felt a lot of shame and a lot of guilt and all the [00:03:00] things. I just had my son, so I was also going through a lot of the mommy shame and guilt and stuff that's put on women, and I, just, it was a very dark time in my life and I think that's how I sort of came to this work and like mindset work was really helping myself figure out what it is I wanna do with my life and what would my next chapter be when all I had ever done was the law.

  And so fast forward, I did a bunch of things. I started a different business and I ended up here and somehow I became a life coach and then a master certified life coach, and I created the Quitter Club, which is my membership, to really help so many people, you know, I mean it, it's so commonplace that we all just complain about our jobs and we all just dread Monday and we are waiting for Friday.

  You know, that's a third of your life. And for a lot of us, even more, cuz we work nights and we work weekends and we do all this stuff and so I'm really trying to help people learn how to change boundaries and figure out what they want and go after that. So that's what we do at the Quitter Club. 

  Priyanka Venugopal: I love it so much. So just a little bit of background, Goli and [00:04:00] I met because we were both in a coaching mastermind together, and I think it was when we met in Kentucky that, I mean, we had known each other via Zoom because we had met in our coaching group, but we met in Kentucky. 

  And I fell in love with you right away because seriously I think that the work that you're doing, and this is why I wanted to have you on the podcast, is so deeply important. I know you work with all the humans, but you know the, I would say the majority of my audience are high achieving working moms, and I think that you are just an example of what's available, and not just for all the humans, but really I think of working moms as this unicorn category because we are working hard on both ends, right?

  We're working hard as moms. We're working hard, in our work life, and there was something that you posted on Instagram, which is when I reached out to you and I was like, I need to have you come on the podcast. We have to talk about this. You posted around mom guilt and kind of shoulding ourselves.

  So many of us have these should thoughts around how we should be, and I was like, we have to dive into this. So before we get into all of that, can you just tell us a little bit more about, you were saying that you were in this awesome job. By awesome. I mean like a high achiever's dream job, right?

  Like as a lawyer and you were patted on the head a lot and you had all these accomplishments. Can you just tell us a little bit more about how you think that that part of your lived experience led you to having all of the shoulds and kind of like what led you to even uncover this? 

  Goli Kalkhoran: Yeah, I talk about this a lot with my bill.

  Well, first let me just pause and say the feeling is mutual. We definitely fell in love in Kentucky and I was like, I need to hang out with Priyanka as much as possible because I mean, it is kindred spirits. I think a lot of us, I like you say, I actually a, a large portion of my audience is working moms. I would say the vast majority because the standard put on working mothers in particular is impossible to meet. And so, so many people, instead of looking at that standard and saying, oh, this is a ridiculous standard, but we think I'm failing, which is insane. And so I, a lot of the work that I do is try to show people like, it's not you. It's the standard and let's change that standard.

  But to go back to what you were asking, the reason I even got there was because, So many of us who are quote unquote successful, who did what society told us to do, and we were good at it and we were rewarded for it. You start getting these like dopamine hits on, like, I'm doing good and look at me, and I'm accomplishing and I'm collecting, I'm checking off the list.

  I'm collecting all these accolades and these degrees, and I'm doing all this. And we really learned to push down any of your own needs, like anything you want, any like that's truly the only way to get successful, right, if you don't think about whether you're tired. You need to study. You don't think about like, do I actually like this?

  Who cares? You need to pass this test. Right? It's, it's, we learn to start suppressing who we are, what we want, what we like from a very young age. And I think that's why so many of us just wake up one day and it's like, how did I end up here? Like, I don't even want this. Did I even, I, I talked to so many people we're like, I didn't even like the law.

  I didn't even wanna go into medicine. And it's like, but I just kept following the path because I was getting pat on the head. And I, I talk about this not in a way of like, it sounds absurd. I'm not trying to say like, oh, whoa is us. We were so successful. It was so sad for us. But I think that sometimes if you're not successful in school or if like you, let's say traditionally don't do well on tests or something like that, you have to grapple with your identity a little bit earlier.

  You have to really lik start questioning, am I gonna let society define me? Because society will try to define you very quickly about like whether you're a failure or whether you're a success or whatnot. And I think for a lot of us that fall into the trap of like what society says we're doing is good, we don't have to wrestle with that until later because we think like, oh look, I'm killing it.

  I'm doing great. And so you buy into the fact that like what you're doing is the right thing just because you're winning this game. This made up game that they've created for you that is like this is what a good person does or a successful person. And it's not until later where you sort of look up and you're like, wait, do I even wanna be here?

  Is this even what I wanna do? 

  Priyanka Venugopal: Right. And you know what I'm, what you just said, one thing that really, I think it's like triggering such a response for me is I always talk about, you know how I think so many of us have this good on paper life and we've gotten the, the gold stars and the A pluses and we have a supportive family.

  And I think that, especially for me, I'm curious whether this was part of your story and part of your journey is I kind of felt like I should be grateful for what I have. I have so much. I mean there's so many people in the world that are suffering, like real suffering. And who am I to kind of complain about this good on paper life?

  Like who am I to complain? And I think for me there was that one day I remember, I think I told you this, I was driving to work, pumping while driving 200 pounds and I am like this does not make sense. I should be grateful, but I'm not, and am I willing to be honest with myself? I think I held myself back for so long because I felt like I should be grateful.

  There's another should. 

  Goli Kalkhoran: A hundred right percent. I think that there's so many layers to that. I definitely, there's so much shame around you should just be [00:09:00] grateful for what you have, cuz you do have so much more. And I think an added layer for a lot of us, like, you know, I'm a first generation immigrant.

  My parents came here to give us a better life. I was making more at 26 than both of my parents ever made. And so there were a lot of these thoughts of who am I to complain about this? And I felt truly terrible. Like, what is wrong with you? These people left war and they talk about a hard life and you're crying about having to work in an office.

  You know, like what's happening. So there's definitely a lot of that because of society, because we've been sort of programmed to believe that. But I love that you got to this realization that I think a lot of times we think if we just push down how we feel, it'll go away. But it doesn't, it festers, right?

  It's like a wound and we're like, well, let me just cover it up instead of figuring out what is this wound. And one of the things I work with a lot of people on is like because I think a lot about that, about my privilege and what I have and how [00:10:00] certain, you know, things were easier for me. And so then it becomes this stick that I use to kind of beat myself up well, like how dare I not go out, you know, whatever the shoulds are.

  And I started realizing like I can't make myself miserable enough to help someone else that doesn't have that privilege. Like me, staying in this career and being completely unhappy doesn't change other people's plight. It, it's just what it is, right? So I have to decide, do I need to martyr my life to say, because I was given this now I should just accept being unhappy for the rest of my life. 

  Like when you start thinking about that, you're like, that sounds absurd, cuz it is. And yet so many of us just like to buy into that. Like, well, it should be good enough, but it's not for me. So what is it like, do I have the courage to really admit that to myself and decide to go after it even if other people think I'm being ungrateful or that you know, I should just stay.

  Priyanka Venugopal: And do something about it. You know, I think that what I had to grapple with, and I think what helped me really bridge this gap is I have, and I still am to this day, so anyone that knows me or is listening, they're like, we see you. I'm very all or nothing. I think especially high achievers are very, all or nothing, and I think that I used to play into that even more with either I have to completely be selfish and totally only take care of myself and be oblivious to what's happening in the world. There's that, or there is, I have to be smarter and you know, I cannot care for myself and I can only care for others, and I had to really learn. I'm still learning to this day.

  That I can have both. Like there's room for both to be true. I can not feel deeply satisfied. I can be discontent in my body, in my life, with my time, with my work, with my relationships. And at the same time, I can recognize also that there is suffering in the world and there are people that maybe have less than I do, and there's space for both to be true.

  I think that that was kind of the bridge that I was like, oh, there's space for me too. Like I can, I can honor that. What would you say, like when you think about you going, cuz you said that you had this career but you were miserable. 

  How did you, like, I feel like there's a moment there that you were willing to recognize. Cuz leaving the law, you know, especially cuz you and I have, you know, becoming a professional. You have gone through years of school training. You've invested in your education. Right. What was that moment for you where you actually were willing to challenge that? Like, I'm willing to leave this, I'm willing to lead the law. You didn't even know about necessarily becoming a coach. 

  Goli Kalkhoran: No. 

  Priyanka Venugopal: Right. 

  Goli Kalkhoran: Oh, that was on the horizon for years.

  Priyanka Venugopal: That was later. 

  Goli Kalkhoran: Like years later. 

  Priyanka Venugopal: You left it without having a sure bet in hand. 

  Goli Kalkhoran: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I mean, yeah. 

  Priyanka Venugopal: Tell us about that. 

  Goli Kalkhoran: I, I have to say like, it's, for some people there's like a moment and, and then there was kind of, for me, when I decided. It took me almost a year to really admit to myself that I was gonna leave and because like a lot of this stuff, a lot of the work that you're doing, the reason it's so powerful is when people listen to it, it plants a seed and that seed isn't gonna grow right then. It's just like, wait. There might be a little bit of a reframe like, wait, I never thought about it like that. Can I do something else? Could I just leave? Right?

  For me, I mean there was like a confluence of events and I will say like I have a lot of people in my program that we talk about, like sometimes you need a nudge from the universe.

  Like people sort of get laid off or they'll get fired or the business will shut down or whatever, and I'm like, Hey, this is the universe being like, you know what? It's time now. For me, it just so happened that I had my son, I went out on maternity leave and we ended up deciding to move back from Arizona to California.

  So I had to quit my job because they didn't have an office in Orange County where I was moving. So, before I went on maternity leave, I hadn't planned on leaving. I was gonna just go on maternity leave for three months and then go back. And I, honestly, I don't know what would've happened.

   

  I think eventually I would've left, but it would've taken a lot longer. I think being forced to slow down, one of the things that I was really happy about was, okay, now I have a little bit more time with my son. I don't have to go back after three months. Maybe I could take six months and then I'll look for another job.

  And so, you know, deep down I knew, I was like, this sounds terrible, but like, I was happy about maternity leave, not because I was having a baby, but because I didn't have to work and like that should be a tell... 

  Priyanka Venugopal: And I'm leaning in and I'm like, yes, yes. This. Listen. 

  Goli Kalkhoran: That was a telltale sign that like, I'm not happy. I was like, oh my God, yes.

  I get six months away from this. Right. And then as anyone knows, maternity leave is not a vacation. Cause I was like, wait, this is my time off. What's happening? But when we moved and around the six month mark, I kept prolonging and then I started looking for jobs and every job description made me feel nauseous.

  Like I just had this pit in my stomach. And I would read them and I'm like, I just, I don't wanna do any of this. None of it sounds good. Like there isn't one that I'm like, that sounds interesting. You know, I kept, and so I was just complaining to my husband. I wasn't even, it wasn't even in my realm of possibility that I just wouldn't get a job.

  I was like, oh my God, I don't wanna do this and I don't wanna do, and he bless his soul was like, what if you just try doing something else? 

  Priyanka Venugopal: Oh my gosh. Can I tell you how much I love that? Because that I know is not the experience of so many people. 

  Goli Kalkhoran: A hundred percent. 

  Priyanka Venugopal: Where they have thoughts about their partner being like, wait, you're leaving the law. Like, what about our family? What about the income? Like, all that. Okay. Yeah. Keep going. 

  Goli Kalkhoran: No, I was, I was extremely blessed that he was not only supportive but he was kind of the catalyst for me. And I always give him credit. He was the one that kind of, oh, like planted that seed. And I remember when he said it, I was like, incredulous, I rolled my eyes and I was like, oh, just try something else.

  What are you talking about? You know, I remember yelling at him. Poor guy. Cuz I was like, same thing. Like I spent over a hundred thousand dollars getting this degree. This is all I've ever studied. This is my all, like seven years of, you know, my resumes and what am I gonna do. But it sort of just made me, you know, after that conversation at night when I'm lying in bed, being like, could I do something else?

  Is there something else that I could do? And I didn't know at the time, in 2014, I didn't have, like, it wasn't this online business world at the time. There were podcasts like just kind of started coming out. There were some people with podcasts, but I, it wasn't as though I was like, oh, there's all these other things I can do, you know?

  And so like, and that's why I say it took me a year, like in that six months when I was with my son. So kind of six months after that was me really wrestling with this thought and this idea and having a million conversations with my husband. Like, what would it look like and how long could I not work for?

  And what could we survive on until then when would I need to get a job? And, and one of the reasons I will say too, like for me, I was in the nonprofit world.  I was a public defender when I was in Arizona, and there was a lot wrapped up in that, by the way too. Thinking about martyr syndrome, like I truly was like, I'm here to save the world and I can't stop doing this work.

  And so there was a lot, and I know for doctors and stuff, there's a lot of those thoughts about like that you're doing good in the world and so you can't just stop. But what I didn't have was that there's a lot of, lawyers are, like you said, a lot of people, I think spouses, when you have really high paying jobs, It's hard to like to take that hit of the income.

  I didn't have that high of paying a job, right? Because I was doing public interest work. And so when I was applying for jobs, those were the type of jobs I wanted to do and the salaries were so...I don't wanna say it because like obviously a lot of people, this is what, no, but it's just, it was a joke because of the amount you work.

  Like every single one in the job description would say, you know, like regular nights and weekends. And every interview would be like, well you know, this isn't a normal job and we are usually here till nine o'clock at night. And like, I just had a baby. You know? And I think it was in those conversations with my husband where he was like, Goli, you could literally make that, you could go be a manager at Nordstrom and make that money like you don't. But obviously it's like our pride and shame and I was like, I can't just go, you know, work in retail. 

  Priyanka Venugopal: But this is so much to like how women are compensated for their work. I mean, we could probably have a whole, maybe we should have a whole separate podcast conversation around women and how we are paid and how we value ourselves.

  I mean, We will save that. I'm gonna put a pin in that. We're gonna save that. 

  Goli Kalkhoran: We definitely, you're absolutely right, and we do have to do a whole podcast episode about that because it is where like, you know, especially female dominated roles, we are taught to sort of believe like, oh, because it's doing good in the world, I should sort of accept getting less, which is just absurd.

  But you're absolutely right. I just think that like, again, for every person, it's gonna be a different calculation. I think for me. I had to grapple more with the identity of like, I'm here to save people and I can't walk away, versus like, I'm giving up this big salary. I had been making a big salary when I worked in big law, but when I quit to go become a public defender, I had already grappled with that.

  I was like, all right, I cut my salary and like more than half I'm good. Right? And when I started really thinking like I could just go to Nordstrom and get a job and get paid as much, why am I not? It was the pride, the ego, the shame, like, well, you have a law degree from, you know, a top 10 law school. You can't just go work at Starbucks or whatever.

  And. I think when I really like that, what my husband was really trying to get me to see was like, you're miserable. You come home and you make all of us miserable and you're not like, what are you getting from this? Why are you doing it? And there was a lot of soul searching that went on in that year, and it truly just got to the point of like he's right, why am I? I'm doing this to prove that I'm good enough.

  I'm doing this to prove that I could cut it. What am I doing? Like I hate doing it. I'm not getting paid anything and yet I keep doing it. So like what's behind this? Yeah, that sort of led me on this whole self-discovery of like, I've always just done what other people thought was successful, what other people thought was good, what other people thought I should do.

  At what point do I decide, what do I want? Yeah. 

  Priyanka Venugopal: And I think what's interesting is, you know, you, because, you know, part of today's conversation is like, how do we free ourselves, [00:20:00] especially as high achievers who have been shoulding ourselves like, I should do, fill in the blank to be a good mom. I should do whatever, to be a productive member of society. And there's like such a long list, like a thick rule book that we all have for how we should be living. 

  But you, you like, I mean, I think for anyone that didn't hear at the start, Goli is like the, I think of you as like the CEO of just Lessons from a Quitter. I think that just the name, like just the idea of quitting, the word quitter and the word quitting, like, and I am sure that any high achieving working mom this listen to this is like...

  There's, like, like a visceral reaction to the idea of quitting and being a quitter. But the way that you are talking about it, I think is so important and so powerful because it brings back powerful agency that I think so many working moms just don't have. So can you share with us how are you redefining [00:21:00] quitting and being a quitter and how might I think somebody listening to this starts to plant a seed for themselves?

  Goli Kalkhoran: Yeah, yeah, of course. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I very much obviously picked it intentionally and it is tongue in cheek, but I wanted to really, really reclaim that word and redefine that word because it was so absurd to me that the only marker of success that we have is sort of longevity, like the length of time that you're doing something with no regard as to how miserable you might be doing it.

  Right. When we think about even marriages, it's like it's only considered a success if you stay married. It doesn't matter if you're depressed, you both hate each other. You haven't, you know, you never wanna be around each other. Like, if you're married, then we're all okay with it. You know, everybody, like, nobody judges, but if you get a divorce then, then you're a failure.

  And it was the same thing. What I was realizing for me was when, exactly what we kind of were talking about here is like, how do you redefine your rules and how do you redefine the standards that society has just made up, right? So I was like, wait, somebody just decided that at 18 you make a choice about what you wanna do.

  And then the only marker of whether you're successful is if you decide to stay with it no matter how unhappy you are. And we're talking, I mean this is, you know, we, I joke a lot, but one of the reasons at the time when I was leaving is like so many of my lawyer friends were on antidepressant, anti-anxiety.

  Suicidal, right? Like the suicide rates, the alcohol rates, the drug rates, all of those in these professions are very high for a reason. And yet none of us, we're doing like this Band-Aid kind of like, how do you learn how to handle your alcohol and how do you maybe get some mental health stuff instead of like, what if you're just so deeply unhappy where you're at that you shouldn't be there anymore?

  You know? Like maybe that's not for you. And yet we're so tied into, well, I don't wanna be a quitter, right? Like, I don't wanna be, I don't want people to think I couldn't cut it. I'd rather just be completely unhappy for the rest of my life. And we don't make that as a conscious decision, but we do make it.

  We're all making that choice. And one of the things I started realizing when I started questioning how absurd the standard was, like what is wrong with changing your mind? You know, it's a marker of growth. Like hopefully you're not the same person that you were in your twenties. Hopefully at 30, 40, 50 years you're growing, you're changing.

  So why are we deciding that like quitting something changing, really just deciding, okay, that chapter's closed. I'm done with that. Now I wanna move on. Why in the world would that be a negative thing? You know? Like we want people to grow. We want them to learn more and change their mind and decide, hey, this isn't for me anymore.

  And so. I think for me, one of the things I really like to harp on is that you are always quitting something. Like everything in life is a decision and you have to, you have to put something on. So either you're quitting on your dreams, you're quitting on the life that you want, so, so you can stay. So you can prove to people that you're successful.

  I don't know what you can prove that you're good enough or you quit the thing that's no longer working. Like you have enough kind of self-awareness to say, Hey, this doesn't work for me anymore. I'm willing to quit that so that I can find the thing that does, or I can go after this dream that I had, or whatever it is.

  And so I just think it's funny that we think that we're not like, I feel like we're just always quitting. It's just a decision. It's a choice. What am I gonna like...? Deciding not to leave is a choice. You're still deciding to stay. Deciding to leave is a choice, right? Like, which choice do you wanna make? 

  Priyanka Venugopal: Oh, that's so good because I think that, I know, at least for me, especially in, you know, practicing as an OBGYN, it felt like a very myopic decision.

  Like, are you quitting something versus, like quitting on your dreams. I think what you're talking about, I mean like my mind is blown a little bit right now because I never thought about it as, you know, if I stay with my status quo, if I stay with being 200 pounds and feeling annoyed with my husband and my son, and you know, living in this life that I should be grateful for, but I'm not . If I stay here, I'm quitting on a possibility for my future that I just hadn't even, I think I hadn't even really given myself permission to dream about. And I think that this is a big one, especially, it's like, but what if. What if I can't cut it?

  What if my dream is not possible for me? Like let me just stay with what's safe and what I know. And yet what we end up doing is we just quit on that future dream, which is, I think, so important. So like how do you talk? Like if somebody comes like, I can hear somebody because this is me. I'm like, listen, so I could, you know, quit this either, you know, a marriage or a relationship or this job that I feel miserable and I could quit that, or I could quit on my dreams. How does somebody ask themselves and start to unravel that question for themselves because they know that they're okay, they're quitting on one or the other. How do they know which, which direction to go in? How do you know? 

  Goli Kalkhoran: That's a great question and I think, again, like a lot of us think that things like have to be really black and white and you have to just make one decision and stop everything else, and you, I have to upend my life. I have to quit my job right now, and it never has to be like that, right?

  I think right now there's so many things that you can do to start exploring. Like I said, when you plant the seed and you start even thinking, What else could be possible? Let's just start there, right? Let's start looking at like on nights and weekends. Maybe I can look into what do other people do to make money?

  What could I do with this degree? Right? And I think sometimes it's just letting you see the possibility that will help you open up your, like not just your mind to it, but really start making more of a plan. So a lot of what I work on with people is I actually don't really recommend people quit before they know what they wanna do.

  Like for me, it was a very painful time because I had to grapple with everything. There was a lot of shame and guilt and then the money insecurity and all of this other stuff, and I think that if you can, like when you're in this place of just really starting to think about it, just carving out some time to help yourself explore. To help yourself go deeper. To help yourself figure out who you are and what you want.

  How do you do that in small ways while you're still there? So I, I do wanna say, just because you're quitting, quote unquote, like it doesn't have to be like your quit dates today. You gotta just decide that you're gonna change everything. This duality, like I talk a lot about how life is short and you have this one life, and like, what are you gonna do with it?

  But I also talk about how life is long and I think for me, I always tell people, think about how many years you're gonna work, right? Like, I'm gonna work for another 30 years, 25 to 30 years, based on American's standard right now. But with our longevity, probably more, probably 40 years. You know how many careers I could have in 40 years, right?

  It's like everything doesn't have to change today. Like you can decide. If I have a five year plan, if I wanna set myself up to be able to leave in the next 2, 3, 5 years, well then there's a lot of other things I can explore in that time to figure out like, what lights me up? What do I wanna do? Right?

  Because I think sometimes when we make that the question, it's so heavy, like, do I stay or do I go? Because you're like, I haven't figured..., it's so overwhelming that you're like, I'm just gonna bury my head in the sand. I can't deal with this. This is too much. I can't figure out all of like, how it's gonna affect my [00:28:00] family and how it's, and so I, I just think like, you don't ever have to do that.

  To answer your question, like one of the things I think any decision, any decision you ever wanna make, like there's no right or wrong. There's no, there's no right answer. Nobody can tell you for each person, it's gonna be a different answer. So like, I can't tell you, like, you all should quit your jobs.

  Like everybody should, you know, it's obviously gonna be different, but I always like to look at what are my reasons for making that decision. So if your reasons for staying are just fear-based. I'm scared I'm gonna fail. I'm scared. I'm not gonna, you know, people are gonna judge me. I'm scared that it won't work.

  You just have to ask like, is that how I wanna live from my fear? Like constantly just living in fear and never trying anything and never doing anything so that nobody ever has any, any, negative opinion of me, even though they will anyways. Or you know, like, are you making those decisions from all of your fears or do you make it from a place?

  I don't know. Your desires, your hopes, like what you wanna try in the world. Like when you start realizing, yeah, I don't know which way it's gonna work out, but I wanna build that muscle where I'm like scared, but I do it anyway. But I have courage, like I go out and I, and so I just really like, like to help people get clean on what is the reason you're making this decision? Some of the people, like you're saying, like some people have reasons like, no, I really do love aspects of this job. Okay, well then we can get clear on like what aspects do I love? What is it that I wanted, what could I do with it and stuff. But yeah, so. 

  Priyanka Venugopal: Yeah, I think that's so important.

  And it's so interesting because even as you're talking about, you know, quitting a job versus, you know, quitting a future dream, it's like the parallels that what of what you're talking about with weight loss is exactly the same. You know, I've seen so many people quit on their dream ideal weight because they're afraid they're going to fail on the journey. 

  They're afraid that they're going to try and fail. And so what ends up happening is we let our fear of failure lead us. And I really like to think about, if you like [00:30:00] what you're talking about, like do you like your reason for choosing what you're choosing? If you decide, you know what, I want to lose 50 pounds, how does that feel for you?

  Versus like, you know what? I don't wanna even try. And if you see me on video, I'm putting my hands up because it's like very fear driven and I always want my audience, I want my clients to always think how small of a world we are living in if we let fear lead us, as opposed to what you are talking about, which is practicing the muscle of embracing failure. There will be failure.

  Especially if you have big dreams, there's going to be failure. You and I have learned this firsthand in our coaching Mastermind. Imagine the impact if we grew the muscle and our capacity to allow for failure, to expect it, to befriend ourselves along the way. Like what would that be like?

  Imagine that world that we got to live in. I mean, this is like transcends how you show up to your job, to your relationships, to weight loss. It's like for both. 

  Goli Kalkhoran: Everything. It's everything. I mean, it's all of it. It's the most liberating thing that you can do is really get yourself to realize that you don't have to be perfect and that you can try things and fail and try again.

  And it doesn't ever have to mean anything about you. And I think that we have just been so many high achievers, one of the biggest problems for us is that because we were taught in a school system where you were taught that basically the point is to be perfect and to always get the high score and to never fail.

  We were given this lie as if the world ever works like that. And so we think, and a lot of us did do that, right? Like we always got the A, so we never had to grapple with that failure. And so when we fail, we think something has gone deeply wrong. But the reality is, there's truly no way to do anything without failing.

  Like you try, you fail, you try again, right? It's like kids learning how to walk or ride a bike. You're never like, oh, you know, you fell off that bike. It's probably not for you. You're probably just not good at it. You should never try to ride a bike again, right? But you, that sounds absurd. And yet we think that that's the way it should be.

  And a lot of times when I talk to, you know, my people that are going after dreams, it's like, you've never heard of a story of someone being like, you know what? I started a business. I never had a problem. There was never a bump in the road. I knew how to do everything. Everything was we perfectly fine. And or you know, with anything, let's say you wanna write a book, like every agent loved me.

  I never got rejected. Like it sounds absurd. And yet so many of us are like paralyzed with fear because we think if I take a step and it doesn't fail, then that means I wasn't cut out for it. It's not meant for me, I'm just whatever. 

  Priyanka Venugopal: Right. It's what we tell ourselves when we fail and it's what we tell ourselves about ourself.

  Like what it, what we make that failure mean about our inherent capabilities and our inherent skills. And it's like, I think that's the part that is so rigid. I think especially for high achieving working moms, we're so rigid on what we make a failure mean that is making our, I mean we live such a small life when we do that.

  Goli Kalkhoran: Totally. And so that's, it's imperative whether you quit your job or not, or whether whatever it is, is like learning to undo that. Learning to understand like, of course I'm gonna fail and I don't ever have to make it mean something about me, or I don't have to attach a story to it. All right? Tried that didn't work out because like you said, I mean, it opens your world up. It liberates you to try things.

  Like I was just talking on a call yesterday about how I used to be terrified to try a hobby. Like I wouldn't go to a dance class cuz what if I don't know how to, like, I'm gonna look stupid and if I don't, you know, get, and it's like when you're saying, when you, when I think about how small my world was, like if I have to always be perfect, then I can never try anything new.

  Because I can only do the things I know I'm already good at. Right. And one of the things that I have found that has been the most liberating for me is that I have no idea what I'm gonna do over the next 30 years. And I'm so excited about that because I'm like, let's try it all. Let's try to write a book.

  Let's try it. Who cares? It doesn't work. Okay. At least like, you know, at the end I'm gonna look back and be like, I was in the arena, I was doing things. I was going after that biggest life and like, yeah, I failed a ton and I fell flat on my face and I got up. 

  Priyanka Venugopal: Can you imagine your 2014 year old version of you, like and even hearing you right now, right? Can you imagine? 

  Goli Kalkhoran: No. My husband's that to me all the time. What's so funny is I'll talk about like, you know, I'm like launching something great and I'm out and about, like putting myself out there and I'm failing. And he always is like, I don't even know who you are. LIke... 

  Priyanka Venugopal: I know know. 

  Goli Kalkhoran: We were together, we've been together since we in 2004, so we had, you know, at the time we had been together for 10 years and so.

  He knew a very rigid version of me, a very type A like through law school, that kind of the psychopath that I used to be. 

  Priyanka Venugopal: That is so funny. Yes, and it's so funny because it's like, it's like you don't even recognize who you become, but you've allowed yourself to grow and learn and evolve. It's so funny because my husband, I feel like there's like parallel lives because my husband and I also met, I think it was in 2003 or 2004, and we've been married for a long time.

  He literally said the same thing to me this past year, and this is like in the midst of how I have been now experiencing disappointment or failure or defeat or discouragement like in real life. And he is like saying the same thing. He's like, I mean, this is such a different version of who you are than who you were when I first met you.

  Like who you were when I first met you. It's like you wanted the bumper lanes. You know, playing bowling ball because you didn't want the ball to go in the gutter because of how that would feel. And like, look at you. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, man, look at me. Look, look at me. Oh, look at, look at. And, and I want all of you to know this listening, like, if you can do this, because then you get to feel so deeply, this is what I get to feel grateful for.

  I did not need to feel grateful for my OBGYN job, or my husband, or my nice kids or my paycheck. I could feel grateful to myself for taking this leap. And letting myself grow. 

  Goli Kalkhoran: I mean, a hundred. 

  Priyanka Venugopal: That's real gratitude. 

  Goli Kalkhoran: Well, and the thing is, is like absolutely 100% to everything you said, but, and also like I think about it, it's like what we thought we should have been grateful or, it's like, your kids are gonna benefit so much more by you being this person than you being an OBGYN and making a certain paycheck. Like your kid, I'm not trying to say like I'm, you know, uh, like in the same mastermind, like, I'm all about making all the money. Make all the money, get as rich as you want.

  I'm, I'm so for that, but not at the expense of who you want to be and how you wanna live your life. And I always think about exactly what you're saying. My relationship with my husband is so much better. My relationship with my kids, my experience of motherhood is so like just releasing the reins a little bit.

  This like death grip I had on like what everything had to look like and how everything had to be perfect. I just enjoy it so much more and they enjoy me so much more. And the ripple effect of that is worth so much more than any law degree or income or status or anything else, and that's why I harp on this stuff so much.

  It's like, I don't even care what you do. I don't care if you lose the weight. I don't care if you get the job, or the career or the business or whatever I care about like who you become in the process of that, right? Like, I care about you learning to like liberate yourself from these ridiculous standards that have been put on you.

  And learning to say things like, no, I'm gonna start listening to myself. What do I want here? My opinion matters. My needs matter. I wanna do this. I wanna, you know, it's like that's the real reward. Everything else is... 

  Priyanka Venugopal: And like what you're talking about is, you know, there's one thing to teach your children and I call it lip service.

  Like, oh, go be like, go be a leader. Go like, you know, stand up for what's right. No, my friends like, we have to model it first and we have to live it. We have to experience it. And I mean, honestly, that's the real way that they get all of this is by us modeling it to them and to me. I mean, my husband actually is the one that said it.

  He said, you're doing all of the things that you're doing this coaching thing, He kind of was like this coaching thing. 

  Goli Kalkhoran: Yeah. I dunno what's happening, happening here, but...

  Priyanka Venugopal: Yeah,, he's like, you know, that coaching thing that you do, it's like literally changed the trajectory of our family's life. I mean, for and for him to say that and he's, I'm not, I know, you know what I'm saying?

  It's huge to just understand the impact. I feel like you and me could just nerd out about coaching forever, but I wanted to just kind of take a pivot for a second and ask you about this idea where we are fearing failure. We, you know, we have the bumper lanes on and I know because I've been that I think we both have.

  I think that, you know what really would be helpful for anyone listening to this is to understand that we are fearing failure and it's normal because it's been programmed into us. But what do, what do we do in those moments where we are feeling the guilt, right? So we are feeling like we're not enough. This is like, you know, we are, we wanna be a certain kind of mom, we wanna be a certain way at work because we think that that's where we're going to get our good enoughness and we're just not there.

  And we're like ridden with the guilt because of how we think we should be. I'm just curious, like what is your experience with that? Because you've touched on guilt a couple of times. I am wondering what your thoughts are on that. 

  Goli Kalkhoran: Okay, so we have to take a step back, from guilt first, and we all feel this, but like I said at kind of at the beginning of this, when we were talking about like we are all trying to live up to an impossible standard, and then we feel guilty for [00:39:00] not hitting the standard.

  And what we try to do is let me work on my guilt, but you gotta work on rejecting the standard. When you reject the standard, the guilt goes away. Right when you start, it's almost. The matrix. It's like once you see the matrix, it's hard to not see it. You're like, oh my, this is absurd. Right? So it's not gonna happen overnight.

  Like we've, we're so ingrained with these thoughts of what we should and shouldn't do. But I really want, especially my working moms to listen. But anything, all moms are like, the standard that is put on us is untenable. No, you could run a million miles an hour. You could sleep one night, wait one hour a night. You could do all the things and you won't hit it. So part of what you have to start understanding is, I don't need to hit this. Right? Like, and so when I look at, one of, I think the posts that you were talking about that I had posted is I talked about how the 40 hour work week was created at a time when men had somebody at home when they were working 40 hours.

  Somebody else was doing all of the cooking, the cleaning, the grocery shopping, taking care of the kids, school, all of that stuff. Right. So it's like you weren't expected to do that stuff when you also got off at work at five or six. Right. None of that has changed. And in fact, we don't even have 40 hour workweeks.

  It's almost like 50, 60. We're always tied to our email. We're constantly like our, we're all constantly thinking about it. And on top of that, like even though women now have like, you know, we've made such strides in the working world. We never changed that. We were like, okay, yeah, now I, I'll work all that and I'll do everything else and I'll have to somehow manage.

  And then on top of that, when you look at, and, the example I was giving is like just the school system and how insane it is. Like there's no way to be a working parent and handle the school system. 

  Priyanka Venugopal: Because it's like, here's an 11:00 AM like family function.

  Goli Kalkhoran: Like a hundred percent. 

  Priyanka Venugopal: Like 11:00 AM like what are we talking about?

  Goli Kalkhoran: Yeah. For like 15 minutes. Can you be here at 11 to come for Thanksgiving? No, I can't cuz I have work. Or even like the fact that school ends at three and most people don't get off work till five or six, like it was made at a time when there was someone that was gonna deal with the children. Right? And then you look at the parenting standard and like we always raised children for millennia, you know, thousands and thousands of years in a community, in a village.

  You were never meant to be everything to your child. Right? And when you look back, even in the last hundred years, like there's tons of studies that show that stay at home moms in the sixties didn't spend as much time with their children as working moms today do. Okay? So like you really have to take that in. Where's its like we all know, we grew up in times where it was like, you come home, we go outside and you play. You come back in at dinner. It's like your mom is not sitting on the floor doing Legos with you or sitting next to you while you do your homework. My parents didn't know when I had homework. Like I just, it was never a conversation of like, you know, it was like I just went upstairs and I did my homework myself, and now the standard is so absurd.

  It's like and I'm not saying it was, you know, right. Like the pendulum before where like kids are to be seen and not heard and nobody ever cared at all about the emotional wellbeing of children. Nobody's saying that was right. But we've swung so far to the opposite place where we think that it's our job to constantly make sure our children are happy and to make sure they're never, you know, and like so we kill ourselves to be these helicopter parents.

  And that's not doing anyone any favors. It's not even helping. Like the thing is like if, like we did that and like everybody was happy and the kids were thriving, okay, maybe, but it's like we now have a generation that's filled with anxiety who doesn't know how to handle anything. Cause their parents took care of everything, right?

  So when you start realizing this, like you have to start defining your role for yourself. Like one of the things I had to start doing was asking myself, like everybody else is like, when I say in the matrix, like we all are just breathing this air where it's like I gotta decorate the house and I gotta do the el on the shelf and I gotta, you know, we gotta do holiday cookies for the neighbors and everybody's gotta do whatever it is.

  I mean, I'm saying this cause we're in Christmas now. 

  Priyanka Venugopal: All of the shoulds and it's like every single should. So like everybody, think about all of your list of shoulds, like what you think you should be doing. Yeah. 

  Goli Kalkhoran: That's what I had my people we were doing in November, we were doing how to do less. And I think it's a really powerful exercise.

  Sit down and write down everything that you should do. Write it down for work. Write it down for home. Write it down for your mental health. Write it down for health. Write it down for your relationships, friendships, your kids. Once you start seeing it, it's so absurd and you're like, wait, I mean there's, and so you realize you're setting yourself up to fail.

  You're telling yourself, I have to do 4 million things in a day where I only have, you know, like five hours of time outside of work. Like how is this possible? 

  Priyanka Venugopal: And then you wonder, at the end of the day, it's like, and I, where's my me time? I mean, there is no me time, my friends, when you're doing your like thick rule book of every single should, it'll be the nine o'clock two glasses of wine and a plate of nachos.

  I mean, that was my story, right? Like, I don't have any time for me, but like I could microwave a plate of nachos at least. 

  Goli Kalkhoran: Totally. Totally, and I feel a little bit better because I keep, like, I'm trying to numb out all these feelings of like, this isn't fair. Like, we know there's something wrong, right? We know it shouldn't be like this, but we're like, well, I, I'm helpless.

  And that's the biggest lie. The biggest lie is that I can't do anything. And really understanding that you can. That it's not gonna be comfortable because everyone around you is gonna still be doing the same thing. It's so, it's really under, like, for me, it's, I've now become like the joke in my family and, and I'm totally fine with it.

  I love it that like, I'm just the parent who like phones in it. Like, like my kid comes home, is like, oh, they need to volunteer. I'm like, Nope. It's not gonna be me, you know? And he , I'll help him nav... 

  Priyanka Venugopal: I love it. 

  Goli Kalkhoran: Yeah. I'll help him navigate his disappointment. But I'm like, I'm not doing it. And my, my cousin is very like the room mom and team, you know, team mom and she's a stay at home mom loves it.

  Great for her. I'm so happy for her. Right? I'm not that girl. And so we always, and she's like my best friend. So it's funny cuz like she's always ripping me and I'm always ripping her about like, how ridiculous. Like we both just think the other person is so ridiculous. I'm okay with people, like everyone in my family is just like, oh my God, Goli, you're being so lazy or what?

  And I was like, yeah, I am. I am. Because you know what, like yeah. I take, it's such a badge of honor for me at this point because I'm like, exactly, going back to like, what do I wanna model for my children? Like I want my children to know that like my dreams matter, my needs matter. That they're allowed to rest.

  That they don't have to do what everybody else says they wanna do. Like we all want this. We want our kids not to be followers. We want our kids to be independent, but then, just model and show them like, no, make sure no one's ever mad at you. Make sure you always do everything. So everybody's always happy.

  Right? And when I made that, when I started changing the definition of my role for myself, I kept thinking like, what is my role as a mom is my role to always be at every school gathering to constantly like, make sure my kids aren't bored at home, to constantly make sure I have four, you know, shuttle them around to 47 sporting events when I started realizing like, not only my role, but like what is important in our life is not just my kids' happiness, like our whole family unit is important and what's gonna make us all thrive is like each one of us getting the things we need. Each one of us... 

  Priyanka Venugopal: You are a part of your family unit, you are a part of it. A very central, a key figure.

  Goli Kalkhoran: Yes, exactly. So this is a very long-winded way of saying when you do that work, you can hand the, the guilt comes because you're still telling yourself, I should be doing this. And when you really, truly understand, I shouldn't, I really shouldn't. It's not healthy. 

  Priyanka Venugopal: Now, I think like what you're saying is like, in terms of even challenging this, it's not even about thinking about the guilt differently, it's like discovering that you've been in the matrix, and I think like for anyone that's listening, go back a few minutes and listen to the exercise that you suggested because it's like you start to see the matrix that you've been in the rule book that you've had.

  And it's like just being aware of it is that moment right that you get to challenge. Like, wait a second. Maybe I don't want this anymore. Are there any things that you can like think about that might be a takeaway for someone listening to that's like, okay, I see that I'm in the matrix. I can see like all these rules that I've had, all of the shoulds, what would you say like a tangible thing that they can do with that?

  Goli Kalkhoran: Yeah. Yeah. So I'm gonna give you a really easy tool to figure out your shoulds. Cause a lot of times it's not conscience. So we all have invisible rules that we live by. We just like have just decided that this is the rule and we don't know where it came from, but we just decided.

  So one thing to constantly ask yourself is like, what should I always do in this situation? What should I never do? Right? So like, let's say. I start feeling guilt and part of it's like my kid comes to home and is upset and whatever, and I realize my rule is, oh, I should always try to prevent any problem from happening so that my kid is never upset.

  I should always try to prevent my kid from crying. Like I realize that's kind of an absurd rule cuz I can never do that and that's not what my rule should be, right? Like when I discover it, I, it starts becoming easier like the shoulds of do I even want that? But another really quick, tangible thing about guilt that I really love that just helps me reframe is guilt is a good emotion actually to have because it helps you live within your own morals and values, right?

  If it wasn't so overblown. And so one of the things that I like doing is really figuring out like there's rules in society and then there's our own morals. And let's say society tells us that you shouldn't beat your children. And I also have the moral and value that I shouldn't beat my children. So if I hit my child, I wanna feel guilty, right?

  I want that to be like I, and it doesn't mean that like I'm a terrible person. It could be like, Hey, why did I lose my temper? What? Whatever. Like I can use that guilt... 

  Priyanka Venugopal: It matters to you, right? 

  Goli Kalkhoran: Yes. 

  Priyanka Venugopal: Something that matters to you. 

  Goli Kalkhoran: And it can be something that can, I can help change my behavior, right. But as another example, let's say society tells you you shouldn't jaywalk, right?

  But I can jaywalk and I don't normally feel guilty cuz I'm like, all right, it's, [00:49:00] I get the reason why they have this rules, but I'm not like doing anything morally wrong, right? So I don't feel guilty. So what I like to ask myself, this is all coming around, is like, whenever I'm feeling guilty, I just ask myself, do I think I'm doing something wrong here?

  Do I think me not going to my child's, you know, 15 minute school project is wrong thing to do as a mother, right? And it helps me recalibrate really quickly. Like of course I feel guilty cuz everybody else, I don't want him to feel bad. And everybody told me I should and everyone else is doing it. But I get rooted in like, I'm not doing anything wrong by saying like, my calls and my schedule today also matters and I have to get this done.

  And it's, hey, you know, like you're gonna learn that sometimes we don't get exactly what we want and that's okay in life. We can like navigate that. Like it helps me sort of realize that like, okay, this guilt isn't actual guilt, I wanna hold onto this is like society putting on what they think I should do. And the more you strengthen that muscle, the more it becomes easier.

  Like I don't have to do this. Like for me now, it's very, I'm very kind of clear in what my role is, what I wanna do when I don't, when I kind of wanna give in and you know. But in the beginning it's just good to sort of slow yourself down and be like, am I doing something wrong? If I'm not? Then why am I feeling guilty?

  Priyanka Venugopal: Let's just challenge it. Right? And I think that this kind of speaks, just to tie it back to what we said at the kind of the start of today's conversation, is this idea that it's okay to go in small steps. So the very first step is like you just, okay, I've been in the matrix. Okay, so I have all these rules.

  And then in real time like, oh, do I love this? I mean, do I really think I'm doing something wrong? And then I think what your point is, is as you practice this muscle again and again and again, you start to develop a new set of self-created rules. Where, I mean, it's consciously created, not something you were taught when you were two or three years old, but you create it and then now you get to be flexible in how you operate within that, and it becomes easier. I mean, it's uncomfortable. 

  Goli Kalkhoran: It's definitely uncomfortable.

  Priyanka Venugopal: It's okay. It's, and then... 

  Goli Kalkhoran: And for all my perfectionists out there, there just isn't a time where like you don't have this kind of, where you're like, oh, I never feel guilty. And I always like teach this stuff. I've done so much work and I still constantly am like, oh, should I just give in and like volunteer?

  Should I, because like I said, I mean when you're in, like when a fish is in water, it doesn't, you're in that water. You're just constantly around it. So you don't have to be perfect at this. It's like I always, honestly, I truly feel like, because like you were saying, the all or nothing, so many of us are like, well then I'm just gonna become a selfish person that only puts my own needs first.

  And I'm never, and it's like, no, no, there's a ocean between where you're at now and there, right? Like we're just talking about some gray area. Like can you find an hour where it's okay that your kids are disappointed that you're gonna go for a walk, but you still go for it, right? So it's really understanding that this is just this push and pull.

  There's never, oh I'm completely rid of guilt and I, I'm just gonna go through my life and always, you know, never care what anyone else thinks. Like, no, you're human and you will. But can I start like becoming a little more intentional? Can I decide like, no, today I'm not gonna guilt myself for this and like slowly build that muscle.

  Priyanka Venugopal: This is so good, Goli. I feel like we could have talked for four more hours on all of the things. I mean, if we're gonna talk again, obviously, but anyways, I hope you guys, this has been so, so, so helpful. Can you tell all the people where they can hear more about all of this and find you and all of the things? Tell us. 

  Goli Kalkhoran: Yes. Come find me. You can pretty much find me at everywhere at Lessons from a Quitter. So that's my podcast, my Instagram, where I really hang out the most. If you're on TikTok, you can follow me there. But if you are interested in doing more of this work around your career as well, and you want more information on the Quitter Club, you can go to lessonsfromaquitter.com/quitterclub and join us. I would love to have you all there. 

  Priyanka Venugopal: I love it you guys. Absolutely. Go check her out and Goli, this has been so good. I loved having you. 

  Goli Kalkhoran: Oh, thank you so much for having me. This is so fun. 

  Priyanka Venugopal: Bye. Listen, if you feel ready to finally reach your ideal weight, feel better, lighter, and stronger living your real working mom life, then here's what I want you to know.

  I have created a special, very intimate, small coaching group experience just for high achieving working moms like you. The Unstoppable Group, which is my signature six month coaching experience, is starting soon, and this is the last week of the year that my calendar is open for us to connect on a call.

  Here's what I want you to really know and to understand. Taking action right now matters. Don't wait on this. Don't wait another day or another week. Go to theunstoppablemombrain.com/connect and let's connect on a call. Book your call with me today and let's talk about exactly how our work together is going to help you lose the weight and feel better starting now.

  I cannot wait for you to experience coaching inside The Unstoppable Group, and I cannot wait to connect with you on a call. I'll see you there. Bye. Thanks for listening to Weight Loss for Unstoppable Moms. It's been an honor spending this time with you and your brilliant brain. If you want more information or resources from the show, visit theunstoppablemombrain.com.