Episode #33: Bettering Your Best Inside The Unstoppable Group

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Summary

One of the common threads that come up again and again with my clients is a striving for perfection and, more importantly, avoidance of imperfection. This started becoming clear after my conversation about perfectionism with Sam Laura Brown when she said something that has bitten me like a bug: “Our best is betterable…”

A nugget of disbelief is all it takes to stall results on the scale and hold you back from reaching your ideal weight, or any goal you have in your life. Well, today’s episode is going to be a sigh of relief, especially if you’re anything like me and have subconsciously believed that yesterday’s best defines you today, or that yesterday’s best is fixed.

Tune in this week to discover exactly how to better your best, and how we do this inside my signature program: The Unstoppable Group. I’m sharing why you’ll never reach your dream weight if you don’t believe it’s possible, why your ideal weight lives on the other side of one single decision, and how to powerfully start bettering your best every day.

I’ve created a brand-new FREE masterclass and you’re invited! On Monday, November 14^th 2022 at 12PM Eastern Time I will be teaching you all about The Antidote to Willpower and Weight Loss. We’re debunking willpower and freeing you from the need to tap into willpower as a solution for weight loss, because it simply doesn’t work in creating permanent change on the scale.

So, reserve your seat by clicking here!

Pre-enrollment for The Unstoppable Group will be opening right after this masterclass, from November 14^th through 19^th, so mark your calendars because spots are limited. The next group starts on January 8^th 2023, and to help you decide if us working together is in the highest service of your goals, you can book a consult by clicking here!

What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

• The nugget of disbelief that stops so many women from reaching their ideal weight.
• How disbelief subconsciously leads to us not going all in on ourselves, leading to mini quits, half-in half-out action.
• Why yesterday’s best doesn’t have to define you today, and yesterday’s best isn’t fixed.
• The consistent, daily, brick-by-brick effort it takes to create something amazing.
• How, in The Unstoppable Group, we help you get clear on the nuggets that are creating weed thoughts that are preventing you from laying bricks day after day.
• The coaching work we do in leveling up your skills and helping you better yesterday’s best in the most powerful way.

Listen to the Full Episode:

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Featured on the Show:

• Want to work with me? Learn about The Unstoppable Group by clicking here.
• The Free Power Start Weight Loss Training: Click here 
• Episode #28: Unraveling Perfectionism with Sam Laura Brown
• James Clear

   

Full Episode Transcript:

Click here to download the full transcript

• Hey, this is Dr. Priyanka Venugopal, and you're listening to Weight Loss for Unstoppable Moms Episode 33- Bettering Your Best Inside the Unstoppable Group. One of the common threads that I see coming up again and again, and it's been absolutely a conversation I've been having with my clients, is our striving of perfectionism and more importantly, our avoidance of imperfection.

  This thread started a few weeks ago in my conversation with Sam Laura Brown in episode 28, and there was one thing that she said that has bitten me like a bug: our best is betterable. 

  Today's episode is going to be a sigh of relief, especially if you're anything like me and have subconsciously believed that yesterday's best defines you today or yesterday's best is fixed.

  I'm going to be sharing with you in today's episode exactly how to better your best and more specifically how we do this inside my [00:01:00] signature program, the Unstoppable Group. If you want to reach your ideal weight and create lightness for your body, you need to have simplicity, joy, and strategic decisions infused into your life.

  I'm a physician turned life and weight loss coach for ambitious working moms. I've lost over 60 pounds without counting points. Calories or crazy exercise plans. Most importantly, I feel calm and light on the scale and in my life. There's some delicious magic when you learn this work and the skills I'm going to be teaching you. 

  Ready? Let's get to it.

  Hey, Unstoppable friends, are you kind of excited that I'm coming into your podcast inbox a day early? This is like such a fun surprise. I know that whenever I find a podcast that shows up early or comes out of schedule, it's like a nice little surprise for me, especially if it's a podcast that I love. So today's episode is a little unique and special, and it's because I really wanted to talk to you about [00:02:00] bettering your best and really designed this whole episode all around it.

  Here's there is one thing-- just one thing that I find that holds back your dream, ideal weight when you want it. There's a nugget of disbelief somewhere. And usually this nugget is bigger for you if you have a tendency of looking at the past with your normal negative bias, and you allow the story of yesterday's best to define you.

  This is literally the main reason that I see stalled results on the scale or really any goal that you ever have in your life. It creates mini quits, half in, half out, and half ass action, and it's because there is this little wormy question that is tainting everything. 

  The question is, "will it really work?" 

  This implies subconsciously at some level that you're believing it might not really work. So why bother? 

  And this is the reason that you don't go [00:03:00] all in on yourself and that you take half in, half out mini quits and half ass action. Author James Clear recently shared a famous quote on social media. He said, "Rome wasn't built in a day." 

  Now, what this adage is really paying homage to is that it takes consistent daily effort to create something amazing. And this is true also when you think about your dream goals on the scale. It doesn't happen in a day. It happens laying brick by brick. Day after day, week after week and month after month. But when we've been laying brick after brick the old way, the old way being, the way that the diet industry has taught us to reach our dream ideal weight, we very, very naturally fatigue and eventually give up.

  And worse yet, not only do we fatigue and quit because of this old way of trying to lay brick by brick, we also tell ourselves a story. 

  We tell ourselves a story. If we don't lay a brick right one day or if we do [00:04:00] it incorrectly, then we might as well give up. What I have noticed coming up time and time again is that when it comes to weight loss, one or two poorly laid bricks turns into an abandoned effort completely.

  And what this reveals to me, and it's really the intention of me designing this whole episode around this topic, is that there was a nugget of disbelief to start, just waiting to prove you're right. 

  That's right, you have confirmation bias every single moment that I want to help you clean up right now.

  If you have that little nugget of a thought rolling around in your mind that it might not work, or I might not be able to do this, I promise you, you will be proving yourself right. It won't work and worse yet, you'll never learn how to make it work. 

  The reason that I am bringing you this episode a day early is because today is the day that you get to turn all of that around.

  I am hosting a brand new free masterclass [00:05:00] today. The Antidote to Willpower and Weight Loss is happening today at 12:00 PM Eastern, and you can go grab your seat over at theunstoppablemombrain.com/antidote. 

  You're going to learn how to lay bricks in a way that don't create fatigue. 

  You're going to learn how to lay your bricks in a way that don't require you to keep tapping into willpower. But most importantly, one of the lessons that I want you to walk away from in this masterclass is learning how that little nugget of a thought rolling around in your mind is a weed that is killing your dream garden. 

  Let's really think about why you've had to work so hard to lose weight. You're bright, high achieving, and incredibly smart. I would say any working mom is just by natural definition, a ninja. 

  But weight loss is hard because we have made it harder trying to revive a garden. Overgrown with weeds. Of course, you've been relying on willpower to muscle through and clear [00:06:00] the weeds again and again and again. But those weeds keep growing because those nugget thoughts are still there.

  So you could spend a lot of energy, time, and bandwidth pulling the weeds, and I promise you, you're gonna keep relying on willpower or you could stop the weeds from growing to begin with. That's exactly how we make weight loss simpler and willpower-free. This masterclass is going to help you see how these little nugget thoughts are creating weeds, that's creating incredible fatigue, and of course, more disbelief.

  Here's what you need to know right now. Reaching your ideal weight is really on the other side of a single decision. It's normal to feel nervous because you haven't created certain results yet because yesterday's best wasn't good enough. And also you have this inner knowing that's telling you that this is the answer to reaching your ideal weight, to uncover a way of laying bricks that doesn't keep creating fatigue, and to [00:07:00] discover what your nugget thoughts are that keep leading you to stop.

  What I help you do inside The Unstoppable Group is to identify and become deeply aware of your self-limiting thoughts when it comes to you reaching your ideal weight so that you get to go build your Rome. I know you're a high achiever and you're used to doing things on your own, but it's also okay to have a coach help you do this.

  I've designed both this masterclass and the Unstoppable Group with you in mind, the high achiever go-getter, who is just ready to be done with the drag. And if you're ready to better yesterday's best, then you belong in the Unstoppable Group, which is also opening for enrollment today after this masterclass.

  I want to really take a few moments to talk to you about how coaching specifically helps you better your best, more powerfully, and how I have created The Unstoppable Group to really help you level up your skills. The Unstoppable Group is a six month coaching experience for working moms who [00:08:00] really want to feel lighter in their bodies and finally reach their ideal weight.

  We start our group with a strategy orientation coaching call, and on day zero you learn the guiding principles for exactly how you're going to put each brick in place. We create your unique roadmap, customized to fit your real life and your real time. And then you learn my proven process step by step.

  We have live weekly coaching calls, and 24 7 written coaching support to help you uncover your weed thoughts that are holding you back from putting down your bricks. Day after day, we coach on weight loss, but we are also coaching on real life, your time, your kids, your partner, your work, all of the thoughts that you have about your past and the thoughts that you're having about your future.

  What we are doing here together is you intimately start to know yourself better, and not surprisingly, you stop needing willpower to [00:09:00] lose weight. Let me tell you, Being in this intimate community is incredibly special, but also invaluable. Watching your fellow ninjas get coached means you get to glean the wisdom from someone else's misplaced bricks.

  And most importantly, what I have found is that you realize you aren't alone or unique in your struggle. I think that this is one of the most liberating things to know, especially for high achieving working moms. Yes, you're brilliant. You've ninja multitask, mastered so many things, and you're probably a problem solving genius.

  And also you struggle with this and you're not alone. I promise, it is such a sigh of relief and a breath of fresh air to be in this room with your fellow ninjas, to see that you're not alone in the struggle despite being a high achieving working mom. Today I wanted to get into this specific topic of bettering yesterday's best because of this podcast conversation that I had a few weeks ago with Sam Laura Brown back in episode 28.

  When you [00:10:00] really think about this, our best from yesterday isn't fixed. I think that sometimes logically we can believe it that makes a lot of sense because humans are designed to better their best. That's kind of one of the things that humans are pretty good at doing. Yet for some reason in specific areas of our life, when it especially comes to weight loss, this is one area that we forget that yesterday's best is better able.

  And here's the reason why: it requires that we face the uncomfortable. I know, but really I want you to really think about how facing the vulnerabilities of yesterday's best is the currency to your success today and tomorrow. 

  I love using monkey emojis as a visual, You know those monkey emojis where they have a monkey covering their eyes and their ears and their mouth.

  This is what we do When yesterday's best wasn't good enough, we monkey emoji ourself. 

  It is that moment how you show up with yourself when you didn't do good enough yesterday. That is [00:11:00] literally the determining factor for whether you will hit your goal tomorrow. Let me just say that again. It isn't yesterday's best yesterday's decision or the number on the scale that determines where and how you reach your goals.

  It is how you show up and engage with yourself in clearly seeing and evaluating your best from yesterday. This is essential piece to why we either stay stuck in a specific result week after week, month after month, or learn how to grow past it. Really solving the weight loss problem that you have ever had means believing that you can actually better yesterday's best.

  But let's be honest, how many of us have thought, "uh, well, my best wasn't good enough..." so insert your version of doom and gloom. 

  I'm probably not capable. 

  I might not be able to do it. 

  I didn't do it yesterday, so I won't be able to do it again tomorrow. 

  It really struck me because I can even see for myself how many years and decades of my life I was in belief of that. [00:12:00] A few years ago, if I really reflected on this, I remember thinking I've tried all the things before and never succeeded, and I remember feeling hopeless and defeated and at a very subconscious level, like many of you, I had an underlying belief that if my best wasn't good enough this last time and the time before that and the time before that, it might never be good.

  I believe that because I had tried and failed before, I likely would again, and what I wanna share in this episode is that it was that thought, that subconscious belief that tainted how I showed up. I was subconsciously believing, like many of you, that yesterday's best was fixed. But the reality is, is that our best is better able, and it's actually just that decision, that thought that we get to choose on purpose, that becomes our self fulfilling prophecy.

  If I keep believing my best wasn't good enough last time, so I probably won't be good enough this time. Not [00:13:00] very surprisingly, when the moment gets hard, when we hit an obstacle, a little bump or little moments of perfection, my brain will be like, "See, I told you." 

  Look at the evidence, and let's really think about this.

  When you feel discouraged and defeated, thinking that yesterday's best is just as good as it's going to get, how do you show up? Like honestly, Now we're not being mean girls here. We are being vulnerable and honest with ourselves. If we're honest, I can tell you because I have done it time and time again-- we do half-ass work, we keep it surface level and we don't do the hard things... like really we're not willing to feel uncomfortable. 

  If our best was fixed from yesterday and yesterday's best wasn't good enough, then why bother trying drives us to never really try. We basically quit in advance of us truly starting and we quit because it's uncomfortable to try again and fail.

  Here's what I'm here to tell you, that quitting and half-assing is also uncomfortable. [00:14:00] I've done it and I know that you have two, but I really want to call this out so that we all become deeply aware of it. 

  Believing in yourself and your weight loss goals is hard, but not believing in yourself and your weight loss goals is also hard.

  It's just more familiar. 

  So really we have a choice. Which flavor of hard do we want to choose time and time again for years for myself, I know that I chose the flavor of hard that was more familiar, programmed, and practiced, and guess what? My results showed for it. I struggled to lose weight because I wasn't willing to feel uncomfortable and do the hard thing.

  I stayed feeling heavy, not enough people pleasing guessing to all the things, avoiding imperfection at all costs and how I felt in my body, and the number on the scale reflected that. I just didn't know that this other flavor of hard was possible for me. 

  And that is what this podcast episode is, the grandest [00:15:00] invitation for you to do, to choose the other flavor of hard.

  So yes, believing in yourself and believing in your goals is hard, but not believing is hard too. So imagine that you chose the other flavor of hard. Believing in yourself, your skills, your capacity to grow and better yesterday-- your results will start to show something for it. 

  So let's go back to some of the little nuggets that roll around in most of our minds.

  Now, it's possible that sometimes in the moment you're like, No, but I'm not doing this Halfass. It's not surface level. 

  Your beautiful brain will be like, No, no, no. Look, we are trying See!  And you will for a few days you probably did try for a few days, and it's like, See, I did try. But if you were really honest and you zoomed out all the way, you would be able to see in all the little ways in which you weren't all in.

  This is literally what I do with my clients in our weekly life coaching calls and in our 24 7 written coaching cafe. I help my [00:16:00] clients see in what little ways they're creating weeds in their garden. Because here's the thing, when you're in it, because you're in your own brain, it's really hard to see sometimes.

  Because we're brilliant-- if we knew we were self-sabotaging in all of the little ways, we wouldn't do it. If we knew we had these subconscious thoughts about yesterday's best, we wouldn't think them. This is what happens when you learn the skill and get coached inside The Unstoppable Group. You start to feel better, you start to feel the truth resonating in your body and what happens over time, week after week in our time together is the quality and texture of your thinking changes. 

  You actually start to feel lighter. 

  You start to feel better without trying, and you start to be so much more in control and it happens without trying so hard.

  I always think about coaching as an alchemy lab. It's a mix of practical work and simple strategy, [00:17:00] but it's also a sprinkle of your desire and a little bit of magic. My clients start to walk away from our calls feeling better lit up, reinvigorated because they get so much more awareness on what their self-limiting thoughts have been.

  What are those self-limiting thoughts that hold us back from laying down the next brick? 

  And just becoming aware of this and then unraveling it allows my clients to walk away from our coaching calls more inspired and more aligned with where they want to go. 

  I wanna share with you what actually happens.

  Instead of aligning with your past, instead of aligning with yesterday's best, which wasn't good enough, I help my clients align with their dream future. 

  Let me say that again. We are so used to looking at past evidence to drive us because we are so fixated on what yesterday's best did that we are not able to see and dream about tomorrow's future.

  I help my clients [00:18:00] align with their future self, and I love that this one sentence around bettering your best came up in this conversation because I think that this highlights and seeds so much possibility for you. And that's really what I wanted to share with you today, that you can better your best.

  And yes, it's true that it takes work to believe in yourself when you've not created evidence yet. It's hard to believe in a future goal when you haven't created it yet, but it's also hard to stay where you are. 

  So here's my takeaway for you: 

  first, you have to believe that your best is better able often, because I promise you, you will revert back and I'm speaking from experience.

  Make a sticky note, write it down, and remind yourself daily that your best is better able. Yesterday's flaws are better able today. 

  And two, it's only better able, when you start putting in the work, you have to actually show up and do the reps, lay down the bricks [00:19:00] and start evaluating your brain.

  Understanding and gleaning every single time that you lay a brick down is how you better your best. And you get to do this so much more powerfully when you have a coach helping you. Seriously, This is where working with the coach gets to launch your awareness in bettering your best. And the reason for this is because we get to look at your reps clearly, we get to look at the actions that you took objectively, and most importantly, we get to understand why. 

  I want you to really take this as your last journey in trying to lose weight that your last wasn't good enough. It's true if you didn't reach your ideal weight yet, it's true. Yesterday's best wasn't good enough.

  And if you're a high achieving hardworking mom, that can be hard to hear. 

  But it's true and it's not the end of the world because it's betterable. It requires that you put yourself back in the arena. But with a different belief fueling how you show [00:20:00] up. I want to help you start believing in yourself so that you can start choosing thoughts that move the needle.

  Let yourself actually marinate, simmer, and steep in belief of yourself that you might not believe it a hundred percent. And that's normal, it's normal to not believe a hundred percent when you haven't created the results yet. 

  And while it's okay to not believe a hundred percent, also just become incredibly aware.

  What are your nugget thoughts that keep you in disbelief? 

  Because that's hard too. 

  So I want you to take a moment to actively choose your flavor of hard. To choose, your flavor of hard. That's going to at least least point you in the direction that you want to. So make a note, write it down, and see it daily: your best is better able, and this is just one rep of many. 

  The biceps are inevitable. 

  Your weight loss is just waiting for you, and this is literally the foundation of Unstoppable. I hope that you [00:21:00] enjoyed today's episode, and if there's one thing I really want you to walk away from is just this thought that you can just stamp in your mind forever.

  Your best is better able and Unstoppable is here to help you when you want. 

  Want to work with me? Keep listening. 

  The Unstoppable Group is a six month coaching experience for high achieving working moms who want to lose weight and feel better and lighter in their life. We don't count points in calories and macros, but instead I teach you a simple and proven formula that reconnects your awareness to your body, so you don't need apps and calculators to lose weight ever again.

  I know the working mom's brain really well and our coaching together will reveal exactly what your unique blocks have been. I bring my experience as a board certified OB GYN physician and an advanced certified deep dive coach to be your guide along the way. You don't have to lose weight to feel [00:22:00] better, you get to learn how to feel better while you lose weight.

  Spots are limited in this room to maintain the intimate nature of the group and they will be filled on a first come best fit basis. So let's connect on a consult call and discover if we're going to be a good fit. On this call, we'll talk about you and really what's been in the way for you to reach your ideal. I promise you, it is never your time, your work life, or your task list. 

  This consult call will literally be the best hour of your week. You can book your call with me over at theunstoppablemombrain.com/connect . And then we get to decide together if working together will be in highest service to you and your goal.

  Honestly, if you are a working mom and you want to lose weight, very simply, 

   Unstoppable Group was created with you in mind. When you join, you get immediate access to the Unstoppable Library, which has short to the point value packed [00:23:00] videos, which will teach you my process-- so you get to start losing weight right now before the next holiday.

  You can literally just binge watch the whole entire library if you want, and then we get to work in committed and delighted action on January 8th, which is when the next group is going to be starting. So let's connect. Remember, spots are limited, so make sure you grab your consult spot now, theunstoppablemembrane.com/connect.

  And of course, I cannot wait to see you today at the masterclass: The Antidote to Willpower and Weight Loss. Make sure you grab your seat at theunstoppablemombrain.com/antidote. I cannot wait to see you and have a great week. Thanks for listening to Weight Loss for Unstoppable Moms. It's been an honor spending this time with you and your brilliant brain.

  If you want more information or resources from the show, visit [00:24:00] theunstoppablemombrain.com.